Brothers in arms
by Sazzy.Chicago
Summary: Jay and Mouse get deployed back to Afghanistan and they try to juggle their lives in Chicago and their lives overseas.
1. The phone call

Jay sat up at his desk and picked up his phone but as soon as he looked at the caller I.D, he stood up and raced into the break room but as he got to the door he turned around,

"Mouse... You got a sec?" He said looking at him

"Yeah" He said as he walked through and shut the door behind him.

Mouse sat on the couch as Jay answered the phone, "Hello"

"Is that Jay Halstead?"

"Yes it is, what's this regarding?"

"I've been asked to call by you commanding officer, Karl Bates. He was very sorry he couldn't ring but he needs you and Greg Gerwitz to return to Afghanistan for a recon mission."

"A recon mission for what?"

"You're old squad disappeared while travelling through a village"

"When do we need to be out there?" Jay said as Mouse looked at him

"Two days, your flight leaves in two day. I'm sorry but I have to go" He said putting the phone down.

Jay looked at Mouse not knowing what to say, "When?"

"Two days"

"Dammit Jay, we promised we would never go back and put ourselves through that again"

"I know but Paul's squad, our old squad has gone missing while travelling through a village and they want us to find them"

"Ok, what are we going to say to everyone?"

"Not right now, we need to finish this case and we'll tell them tonight"

"Even Erin?"

"Especially Erin, she doesn't need the stress"

Jay and Mouse walked out of the break room and went back to their desks, "Everything ok?" Erin said looking at Jay

"Yeah no problems, how's the case going?"

"Nowhere, three dead teenagers and no leads apart from them all being shot in the head."

"Um... yeah" Jay said but he wasn't really paying attention.

A few hours later Voight came out of his office, "We got a fourth murder but Burgess and Atwater are chasing the shooter down 34th street, Let's go"

The team got up from their desks and ran down the stairs grabbing their guns and vest but as Jay left he ran over to Erin and gave her a kiss, "Hey Mr Professional?" she said pushing him off

"Sorry, see you soon"

"Stay safe!" She shouted as he left.

 **At the scene**

"Hey Halstead,can you think of anyway..." Dawson looked up at Jay but he was out of it, "HALSTEAD?"

"What?" He said looking up

"What's going on with you today, weird phone calls, you seem to be somewhere else"

"I'm just worried about Erin that's all"

"Why?"

"Well she just over two months till her due date and I just want her to be careful"

"What can be more careful than her sitting behind a desk?"

"It can just be a bit stressful sometimes"

"She's tough man"

"Yeah you're right"

Jay and Antonio looked around the scene but didn't find much so they jumped back in the car and drove back to he district. They sat down at their desks when Voight and everyone else came up the stairs, "Case is over, We got him. Finish up here on then go home, it's about time everyone got some sleep"

Everyone finished up paperwork and was about to leave when Jay and Mouse looked up at each other and stood up, "Guys, me and Mouse have something we need to tell you" They said walking to in front of Voight's office,

"What's going on?" Voight said walking past them

"Me and Mouse had a phone call this morning... they need us back in Afghan for a recon mission..." Jay stopped talking to let everyone take it in and he continued, "We leave in two days"

Everyone seemed shocked but Jay watched as tears fell off Erin's face. She stood up and started to walk away but Jay walked up to her, "Erin please...". Jay waited for her to turn around but as she turned the team gasped as she slapped him around the face, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how to, I'm sorry"

"You're my husband Jay, we're having a child in two months" She cried

"We don't want to go back Erin but we need to rescue our friends, they're like our family"

"And what about our family JAY! Me, your wife and your son huh, you just going to leave us"

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen, i'm so sorry"

Erin put her hand up in front of Jay and started to turn around, "I need a minute" She said walking away through towards the interview rooms. Jay didn't follow Erin he just went and sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands.

 **Erin's POV**

I walked through to the locker room holding on to the wall while walking. I sat down on the bench and cried, I couldn't believe he was going away again. The undercover was bad enough for me, when he didn't come home I thought I lost him and I couldn't have that to happen again.

I sat in the locker for about half an hour until I finally managed to calm down, I opened the door and walked out to see the whole team sat at their desk. I saw Jay out of the corner of my eye stand up. I saw him stood their and I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him, "You have to promise me that you will be on that Plane home"

"Erin I don't have to promise, because I will be on that plane"

"I'm sorry for hitting you"

"It's ok, you were mad...now why don't we go home?"

"Yeah I'd like that" I said taking Jay's hand and walking through the bullpen.

 **Nobody's POV**

Jay and Erin got to their apartment and went straight to bed. They laid in bed cuddling when she looked up at him, "I'm going to miss your cuddles"

"I know, I will too"

"Do you think you will be gone for long?"

"It depends but I really hope not but I'll call when I can, wherever I can."

"I love you so much"

"I love you too" Jay said kissing her head.

Jay and Erin sat speaking for most of the night about anything they could think of, "At least the nursery is done for when he's born"

"I'm not going to miss it you know... the birth" Jay said

"I hope not" Erin said snuggling into him.


	2. Going back

Jay stood in front of the closet and he was about to pull out the one thing he never wanted to wear again. He put on his uniform and stood in front of the mirror and started thinking about the last time he was overseas. He was staring into the mirror when Erin popped her head around the door,

"You ready?" Erin said but he didn't answer, "JAY?" She shouted at him

"...Yeah, what?" He said quickly looking at her

"I said are you ready to go... what's wrong?"

"I don't know, I guess i'm just worried"

"Worried about going out there?"

"No i'm never worried about going out there, it's the coming back because I know what happens to me"

"Hey you don't have to worry, I'm here, Will's here and we'll help you in anyway that we can."

"I know, and I don't want you to worry either because I'm gonna be fine"

"I know but i'll still worry... anyway come on we have to get to the district and say bye"

Erin and Jay arrived at the district and walked upstairs to see everyone waiting. Jay hugged everyone and was saying bye and he finally got to Erin,

"I don't even know what to say" Erin said wiping the tears from her cheek

"You don't have to say anything. All I know is I have one mission and then I will be back for our baby's birth and nothing or nobody will stop me from doing that. I love you so much Erin and I will be back soon."

"I love you too" Erin said reaching up to kiss him.

Mouse stood next to Jay and they looked at the team, "well we have to got to the airport before we miss our flight" Mouse said

"Yeah let's go, but my desk better be there when I get back" Jay said

"I don't think we will be replacing you anytime soon" Voight said hitting him on the back.

Jay and Mouse said goodbye one last time before they walked down the steps and out of the district. They drove to the airport and checked in and as they walked towards the plane, Jay looked at Mouse, "you ready man?"

"No but lets save our friends" Jay said as he stepped on the plane.

I know this is a short chapter but I didn't really have much to go on apart from them going back.


	3. Warzone

"MOUSE... GET UP!" Jay shouted in his face as he was coming round, "You good?" Jay said as he pulled the debris off of him

"I'm good" He said standing up.

"Stick with me" Jay said walking forward through the building still trying to piece together how the bomb went off and if they were being targeted.

"How far?" Mouse asked

"Far... too far"

"How long has Erin got left to go?"

"Less then a month and I thought we would be back by now. It's been over a month since we started the mission and it doesn't seen like it's going to end anytime soon"

"Just remember she has everyone there with her, Voight is there with her"

"I know, i know I just couldn't bare anything to happen to her or the baby"

"They will be fine!" Mouse said.

Jay and Mouse continued walking around the building but as they turned a corner, they walked straight into a camp of men who weren't too happy to see them. Jay and Mouse were surrounded by men with guns pointing at them, Jay lifted his gun up but that was when he saw someone grab Mouse and put a knife to his throat.

"Ok, ok" Jay said putting the gun down and putting his hands up, "Let him go!"

"No" Was all the guy said to Jay.

"LE'S GO!" He said pointing his gun in Jay's face.

A few hours later, Jay was pushed into a room and he hit the floor, "Agh!" He shouted as he felt the bone in his wrist snap. He stood up in the dark room and banged on the door, "HEY... WHERE'S MOUSE?" He shouted. Jay turned around to see the shadows of people sat on the floor, "Who's there?"

"Halstead?"

"Paul..."

"Shit man what happened?" Paul said as Jay sat down up against the wall

"Me and Mouse were sent back to rescue you and a group of them had a hideout and we walked straight into it"

"Where's Mouse?"

"I don't know but i'll kill them all if they hurt him... where's the rest of the squad?"

"They've been gone for weeks now, i'm guessing they are dead"

"What are we gonna do?"

"Nothing, If your quiet they leave you along. If you try to play the hero you won't be alive for very long"

"How long have you been here?" Jay asked

"What's the date?"

"July 15th?"

"Erm... eight months I think"

"I need to get out of here, I have to get home"

"Who is she?"

"My partner... I'm in the intelligence department in the Chicago police. Our baby is due in a month"

"Jay Halstead finally got a family huh?"

"Yeah that's why I need to get out of here"

"If you want to get home for Erin and your baby then you need to stay quiet."

"I know, but I'll think of something..."

 **One week later**

Erin slammed her Laptop shut and pushed it to the side. "Woah mama, what's going on?" Dawson said walking over to her.

"It's been over a week since Jay answered my calls and i'm worried"

"I'm sure he's just busy, he'll call when he can"

"I didn't want him to go in the first place"

"Why didn't you tell him then?"

"Well what was I supposed to say...' I'm sorry Jay but I don't want you to go and save your friends'"

"I'm sure he'll call soon" Antonio said sitting back at his desk.

 **In Afghanistan**

Jay was asleep on the floor when he jumped from the door bursting open and he heard a sat up and looked around, "Wha... MOUSE!"

Jay got up and ran over to him, he could barely see his face from the blood running down it, "Mouse, are you ok?"

He didn't answer but he rolled over as blood splurged out of his mouth, "You're gonna be ok" Jay said as he took off his shirt and started to wipe the blood from his face.

"I told them..." Mouse coughed out

"Told them what?"

"...Everything"

"Like what?"

"About the camp...I had to"

"It's ok, just hold this on your face" Jay said grabbing Mouses hand and putting it on top of the shirt.

Jay crawled across the floor over to Paul, "We have to get out of here" He whispered

"How do you expect to do that?"

"Look at him... they almost beat him to death and you expect me to do nothing"

"I don't want to die ok, I have a family too"

"Well the longer we wait the more chance we have of them killing all of us" Jay said turning away and going back to Mouse.

"How're you doing?"

Mouse didn't answer and Jay watched as his eyes started to shut, "No Mouse, you stay awake ok...ok"

"Yeah, i'll try"

Jay grabbed Mouse and sat him up against the wall, "I'm going to get us out of here but I need to know who these men are... did they say anything?"

"They... are monsters and they only want one thing-"

"What?"

Mouse turned his head and looked at Jay, "To kill us all..."

 **Next part will be up soon. Hope you enjoy.**


	4. Declared missing

"THANKS FOR NOTHING!" Erin shouted as she threw the phone down on her desk, "Dammit!" She said standing up and rubbing her bump.

The team looked over at Erin and wondered what was going on, "Erin?"

"What?" she snapped

"Who was that?" Voight asked

"The sergeant at Jay's camp, he wouldn't tell me anything apart from Jay and Mouse's radios went quiet... It's been three weeks and nothing"

"Well why don't you sit down, getting stressed isn't good for you"

"I'll sit down when I find out where the hell my husband is"

"Ok we will make some calls and try to find out what is going on ok, just rest" Voight said walking into his office while Erin sat down.

 **In Afghanistan**

Jay and Paul were sat on the floor in the empty room, "How long do you think we have been here?" Jay asked

"About four weeks now I think, they must want us for something like they can't just leave us in here forever" Paul said

"I know, It's so cold now" Jay said but he saw Paul look at him and take his jacket off, "Here you go, take it"

Jay picked up the jacket and looked at Paul, "Are you sure?"

"It's fine trust me, you need it more than I do seen as you don't have a shirt, anyway how are you feeling?"

"It's not me i'm worried about..." Jay said looking over at Mouse

"How is he?"

"Sleeping, I keep checking on him through, he's weak, he lost a lot of blood and I think his leg is getting infected."

"You have done the best you could for now, let him just rest and he should start to feel better"

"yeah well hopefully, i'm just pissed that I didn't find the stab wound sooner.

"He'll be ok"

"wha... how can you be so positive?" Jay questioned

"Because I know I still have my family back home and I know that If I lose hope then there's no going back for me."

Jay didn't say anything, he just looked back over at Mouse who was laid in the corner.

 **Two days later**

I was so worried now about Jay and I had to find out what had happened. I walked into work, well waddled and walked up to Platt's desk, "Any mail this morning Trudy?"

"No sorry Erin, expecting something?"

"Hopefully not"

"Erin why don't you go home, you went on maternity leave weeks ago-"

"I can't just sit in an empty apartment all day doing nothing, at least im around people here"

"Well no working anymore please?"

"Ok Trudy"

I walked up the stairs and sat down thinking about what I was going to do. I noticed the team were out working a case so I waited for them to get back. After a little while I was in the break room when I heard everyone arrive back so I raced out of the room and to Hank,

"Any news?"

Hank looked at me, "Look, I tried my best but they wouldn't disclose anything to me-" I cut Hank off as I turned around and tried to hold back my tears but he put his hand on my arm and I turned back around.

"I'll keep trying, I promise" Hank said to me.

"Thank you"

 **Nobody's POV**

Voight walked into his office, sat down and picked up his phone. He waited while it rang until someone finally picked up, "Hello, this is Hank Voight and i'd like some information about Jay halstead and Greg Gerwitz.

"Just bare with me a minute" Voight waited while he was put on hold.

Voight was waiting and started to get impatient when the man came on the phone, "Hello, um I don't have much information apart from two soldiers will arrive shortly"

"Regarding what exactly?"

"I'm sorry that's all I can discuss for now" He said putting the phone down.

Voight put the phone down and he could only think the worst had happened.

 **Jay's POV**

I had just fallen asleep when I heard the door open and I opened my eyes to see two guys walking towards Mouse again but as I went to stand up I saw Paul walking over, "Paul what..."

"Take me..." Was all he said

"WHAT?" one of the guys said

"He can't tell you anything but I can, I've been here for long enough haven't I..."

I watched as Paul was led out the door and before the door was closed he turned around to look at me. I watched as Mouse woke up and I he sat up, "Jay?"

"You ok?" I said walking over

"I'm feeling a little better but i'm still in a lot of pain" He winced as he touched his side

"Yeah I managed to stop the bleeding but it still needs stitching up so keep it covered"

"Yeah-" Mouse stopped as we both heard shouting and fighting going on, "What's that?"

"It's Paul..."

We sat and waited for something to happen and that was when we heard a screeching noise sliding under the door, I stood up and walked over and bent down to see a phone. I laid down on the floor and looked under the door to see Paul laid face down and I watched as he looked me in the eyes and the gun went off. I felt sick to my stomach as I had just watched one of my oldest friends shot in the head. I sat up and looked at Mouse,

"What happened?" Mouse asked

"They killed him, shot him in the head..."

"Shit... but what came under the door?"

I looked at Mouse and lifted up the phone, "That was his plan, he sacrificed himself to get us the phone."

I went back over to Mouse and opened the phone, "We need to ring camp now..."

I dialled the number and waited for someone to answer but it went to voicemail, "Come on..." I said dialling it again.

We waited for an answer and that was when I heard a voice,

"Hello?" I said

"Hello, Karl Bates. Who's this?"

"It's Halstead..."

"Jay, Where the hell are you, we found your bags at an abandoned village?"

"Fuck knows, you have to find us. We were taken from the abandoned village about 60 clicks from camp"

"Are you both still ok?"

"I'm ok, but Mouse... he's in pretty bad shape so find us and bring a medic. We are in what looked like a small abandoned building about an hour from where we were taken"

"We are suiting up now just stay alert" He said putting the phone down.

"What did he say?" Mouse asked me

"They are coming for us"

"Hopefully soon before they finish us off."

Jay sat there unaware that Erin had been delivered heartbreaking news.

 **At the District**

Platt was at her desk when two soldiers walked into the district. "How can I help you two today?" She asked

"We are looking for Erin Lindsey and she wasn't at her apartment and we was informed she would be here. Is it possible to speak to her?"

"Yeah of course, follow me" Platt led them upstairs.

She walked into the bullpen with both men stood behind and she looked at Erin who was asleep in her chair, "Hank... these men are here to speak to Erin"

"Ok... Erin, wake up" Erin woke up and looked at him and then looked over to the men in army uniforms. She walked over to them and stood with her hands on her bump, "Are you here about my husband?"

"We are really sorry to inform you but-"

"NO..." Erin cut them off

"We sorry to inform that both Greg Gerwitz and Jay Halstead have been declared as M.I.A, again we are really sorry."

The team watched as tears fell from Erin face and she stood in shock. Antonio walked over to Erin and hugged her, "I'm so sorry Erin" Antonio said as he cried with her.

Antonio stood hugging her when he felt something wet dripping on to his pants. He stood back and looked at Erin, "Er..."

Erin looked down and saw the puddle of water which was on the floor, "My... water...it's broke" she said still sobbing

"Lets get you to the hospital" Antonio said grabbing his keys and putting his arm round her to help her walk. "We'll meet you at the hospital" Voight said as they let.

When they left, Voight walked over to the soldiers, "Is there any possibly he could still be alive?"

"We wait multiple weeks to declare anything and they has been no sign or contact, we are really sorry."

"I understand but they need to keep looking as she has just gone into labour with Jay Halstead's baby"

"You will be informed with every bit of information we receive"

"Thank you" Voight said as they left.

Antonio raced to the front of med and helped Erin out of the car as she was having a contraction, "I can't... walk" She panted through a contraction.

"It's ok" Antonio said picking her up and carrying her through the door.

Maggie was stood looking through a chart when she saw Antonio running through the door's with Erin in his arms, "Antonio?"

"Her water broke..."

"Ok, in here" She said leading her into the trauma room.

"I need Nat" Erin said as she was put down on the bed

"Ok, I'll get her now just breathe"

Maggie and Antonio walked out of the room as nurses went into help Erin.

"When did this happen?" Maggie asked

"When she found out Jay was M.I.A..."

"Wh... Jay's missing?"

"Yeah, has Will been told?"

"there two soldiers speaking to him now but this stress isn't good, we need to get this baby out now..."

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will be trying to upload more frequently so the next part should be up soon. Please feel free to review.**


	5. Not alone

Erin was sat on the bed breathing through a contraction when Natalie came in, "What's going on?" Erin asked

"Your blood pressure is just a little high that's all"

"Is the baby in danger?"

"You just need to try and stay calm" Nat said standing next to her bed.

Erin had to wait at least an hour until her contractions were very close together. She was sat waiting when she felt what was like a stabbing pain. Erin looked up at Natalie, "I think somethings wrong?"

Natalie checked and rushed out of the room and went to Maggie, "The baby needs to come out now..."

"What's going on?"

"The baby is in distress, where's her OB?"

"Busy, and so is everyone else"

"We have to deliver then"

"Ok... lets go"

Nat and Maggie walked in with another nurse and Erin was in extreme pain, "Erin, we are going to deliver now..."

"I can't do it, you have to stop it"

"It's a bit to far along to stop it now" Maggie said

"I can't do it... he promised"

"Who?"

"Jay promised he wouldn't miss the birth and he should be here"

"I'm really sorry but the baby is at risk now, he's in distress..."

"I need Will... just get him"

"I'm on it" Natalie said running out of the room

 **Will's POV**

I was sat in the break room trying to process what I had just been told, he has to be alive, there's no way he would just disappear . I know he's out there somewhere. I was sat on the couch and Natalie came running through the door,

"Will, we need you now"

"I'm taking a break"

"No, it's Erin"

I stood up and walked over to her, "What's happened?"

"She found about Jay, her water broke. The baby is in distress but she won't deliver she wanted you"

I ran out of the break room and straight to Erin, "Erin are you ok?"

"I need to push Will but I can't..."

"Erin you have to ok, you could risk losing the baby"

"But... he promised... I can't do it without him"

I looked at Erin, "Look at me... Listen to me... you are not alone. I am here with you and I'm going to be here through the birth and after."

"I really need to push but I can't" Erin cried

"Look Erin, i'm here with you but you need to push now otherwise you could lose this baby...", looked over at Maggie and she nodded her head, "ok Erin, push"

Erin screamed as she pushed,"Good job Erin!" I said holding on to her, "Just one more big push"

Erin pushed as hard as she could and we heard the cries of a baby filling the room, "Oh my god... You did it Erin!" I said kissing the top of her head.

"I did it" She cried, "I did it"

"Here's your baby boy Erin" Maggie said passing him to her

Erin stared at her newborn baby and cried, "He's perfect... he's everything I need"

"He's amazing Er" I said to her.

 **Nobody's POV**

Erin spent the rest of her day sat with her son and Will by her side.

"I'm sorry Erin..." Will said to her

"About what?"

"...Jay, I know you probably don't want to talk about it but-"

"It's fine Will, he was your family too" Erin stopped talking as she felt the tears welling up in her eyes.

"I need help Will, I don't think I can do this on my own. I thought I could but I can't-"

"Erin, i'm here for you and I would never not help you. Your like my sister and now I have a little nephew."

"Thanks Will, I don't know what I would do if you weren't here."

 **In Afghanistan**

Jay looked up at the guy as he punched him in the face several times, he just sat their silent not answering any of their questions,

"How many people at your camp?" One of the guys said

"Too many for you to handle..."

It took a lot to break Jay and he tried to act like he was handling the pain well but he let out a scream as the blade of a knife was slid down the side of his face, "I'm not going to tell you anything" He shouted out.

Jay was getting ready as he expected he was about to be killed but instead they just took him back to the room where Mouse was. He limped back over to Mouse who was now sat on the other side of the room, "What are you doing over here?" He asked him

"I was trying to get away from it..."

"Away from what?"

"Your screams... but I could still hear them"

"It's ok bro... I'm ok and we are going to be ok"

"You say that as what seems like gallons of blood are dripping from your face."

"Yeah I know..." Jay ripped a part of his T-shirt off and held it onto his face.

"They will come for us... Hopefully"

Mouse looked at Jay and could tell he was slowly slipping away and he knows what will happen Jay if they aren't found soon.

 **Two weeks later**

Erin woke up and rolled over onto the other side of the bed and that is when reality sets in for her every morning, waking up in an empty bed is what's been the hardest for her but as she rolled back over she sees he two week old son sleeping in his Moses basket and that was the only thing which was keeping her going,

"Good morning George, shall we go see grandpa Hank today, yes I think so" She said standing up and walking out of the bedroom to see Will stood in the kitchen making coffee, "Morning Er" Will said

"Hey, are you at work today?"

"Yeah in about an hour, you going out today?"

"Yeah im just going to go down to the district to see Hank and everyone else"

"Good, How's my little man?" Will said taking George from Erin

"He's amazing, do you mind watching him while I get ready?"

"Yeah sure, i've got plenty of time" He said sitting on the couch with him.

Erin had asked Will to move in a few days after George was born as she is still struggling to come to terms with Jay gone and she just needed someone there to support her. She quickly get dressed and left her apartment and headed towards the district.

She went through the back door and up the stairs and she walked into the bullpen which was full of all the team, "Hey guys", she said sitting down at Jay's desk

"Hey..." Every replied as Voight came out of his office, "Well hello, how's my grandson?" He said looking at him sleeping in his carrier.

"Good perfectly healthy"

"How have you been?" Voight said sitting on the side of the desk,

"I'm ok trust me, it's better now Will's moved in"

"Will's moved in?" Voight said staring at Erin

"Yeah why?"

"Jay's brother, it just seems a little weird"

"Are you serious, I can see what you are thinking-"

"No I just didn't realise-"

"Realise what, that I couldn't cope anymore seen as my husband is missing in action, so don't in bother trying to make this into something its not" Erin cut Voight off and stood up grabbing George.

"Erin..."

"Save it Hank" Erin said before storming out of the bullpen.

Everyone could tell Erin was trying to keep it together for George but she was finding it harder then ever,"She struggling Voight" Antonio said

"I know, I know"

"I'm gonna go by after shift and see her" Antonio said

"Yeah good idea" Voight said walking back into his office.

 **Hope you are enjoying it so far, plenty more to come. Please comment or review**


	6. Memorial

**Two months later**

Jay and Mouse had come to the realisation that there was a small chance of them being found since they were moved a month ago.

"What's the plan Jay?" Mouse said, "...Jay..." Mouse said again not getting an answer, "Don't bug out on me now Jay, come on!"

"What's the point?" He said laying down on the floor

"I'll tell you what's the point..." Mouse said picking him up, "You have a wife at home and you now have a child, so man up"

"Man up, I can't even move Mouse, since they fucking broke my leg so what do you expect me to do. huh"

"I don't know ok, i'm thinking of something but I know they'll still be looking for us so we just have to try and wait it out"

"Sure thing Mouse" Jay said lying back down.

 **In Chicago**

Erin looked in the mirror as she pulled the black dress down over her head. She took a deep breath before she turned around and saw her baby boy lying on the bed, "Ugh George, lets get this day over with" She said picking him up.

She walked out into the lounge and picked up the baby carrier before calling for Will, "Will, you ready?". She waited for an answer but she didn't get one, "Will... Where's uncle Will then?" She said before leaving her apartment.

As Erin pulled up at Molly's she got out of her car and walked towards the door but she stopped, she couldn't go in so she sat on the bench in front the it. She sat with George when someone sat next to her,

"Hey kiddo" Voight said

"Still can't ditch the kiddo can you?" Erin let out a smile

"No sorry, you not coming in?"

"I just need some space, is everyone there?"

"Yeah all apart from Will, I thought he was coming with you"

"He wasn't at the apartment, he started to spiral when it became real."

"Well hopefully he will turn up. You ready?"

"If I go in, it's going to be real you know"

"Well we are all here with you, i'm here with you"

"Ok, lets go" She said as they walked inside of Molly's.

Erin walked inside to see all of her friends and everyone who knew Jay and Mouse. She could feel the silence in the air as she walked in and she knew this was going to be so difficult for her. Throughout the day she was greeted by people and she was given to more condolences that she could count. She looked over and smiled as she saw Kim and Adam with George. She waited a few minutes later until she stood up and prepared to speak to everyone,

"Hey guys, I couldn't appreciate you all being here today. As you know Jay and Mouse were announced as m.i.a and now it feels real. I miss him so much and there nothing more Jay wanted than to have... to have a son..." Erin tried to hold back her tears, "They both loved to fight for their county and they wouldn't of had it any other way and all I know is, their way in life was to sacrifice themselves for other. I couldn't be more proud of Jay and I know he loved you all very much and he will always be in our hearts."

Erin sat down and everyone rose a drink to Jay and Mouse and Voight went over to hug her, "I'm so proud of you Erin"

"Thanks Hank, it's late, I should probably get George home... But I was going to talk to you about coming back to work?"

"Are you sure?"

"I can't sit at home anymore doing nothing, I already feel as if i'm going crazy"

"Ok, but not for another few days."

"Thanks Hank, bye" Erin said leaving with George.

 **Erin's POV**

I pulled up at the apartment and noticed Will's car was back. I got in the apartment and but George in his Moses and basket and as I walked back out into the lounge I saw Will stumbling around,

"You missed the memorial Will"

"Oops, I guess I was busy"

"Busy getting drunk. Everyone was there apart from you"

Will walked over to me and put his arm on my shoulder, "Who cares?"

"Your drunk Will, you should just go to bed" I stared at Will as he came closer and kissed me. I pushed him backwards and hit him hard around the face,

"How dare you?" I shouted

"Who cares Erin, he's dead, What's the problem?"

"GET OUT...NOW!"

"I live here Erin, where do you expect me to go" He slurred

"I don't care, anywhere but here, now get out" I said as I pushed him out the door. I shut the door and tried to process what has just happened. My dead brothers husband Kissed me, what the hell was I going to do.

 **Nobody's POV**

Erin was laying in bed still thinking about when Will kissed her and she was laid down ignoring the phone which was buzzing on her bedside table.

Hope you are liking it so far. Please comment or review.


	7. Forgiveness

Its had been a week and Erin had finally gone back to work,

"You sure you're ready?" Voight said

"Definitely, I'm fine"

"Well good to have you back"

"Thanks Hank"

Voight was still worried about Erin being back at work after Jay but he knows it's probably what she needs to get back to normal. The team were working through a case when Erin's phone rang,

"Hello?"

"Hey it's Maggie"

"What's up Maggie?"

"Have you seen Will?"

"Not since I kicked him out no, why?"

"He's hasn't been into work for over a week so I didn't know what to do"

"You know I really don't care about Will anymore" Erin noticed the team had looked over

"Why, he's your brother in law"

"Well not anymore, he's probably passed out drunk somewhere and it isn't my problem" Erin putting the phone down.

After Erin put the phone down she looked over to Antonio, "What's happened?"

"Will's missing, he hasn't been into work for over a week"

"Yeah I gathered that but what happened between you two"

Erin could tell all the team wanted to know including Voight, "Um, I got home after the memorial and Will was drunk and he kissed me"

"oh, but it was just a drunken mistake" Ruzek said

"Yeah it was drunken mistake until he said Jay was dead and it didn't matter"

"Well, it's a good job you kicked him out now lets get back to the case".

Antonio stood up and walked over to the board, "So, two dead males both tortured to death and were known to apart of some gang. So we believe it was a hit and there will probably be more to come but there was a third victim but he's alive and he's a med.

Erin sat and stared at the bodies of both the men and just sat there and deep down she knew that's what probably happened to Jay, "I'm gonna go speak to the guy at med" She said rushing out.

"Everything ok with Erin?" Atwater said

"Ok, coming back to work is going to be hard for Erin and this case especially as she knows if you go missing in the army you have probably been taken ans that's what she thinks happened to Jay, so just keep an eye on her" Voight said

"Sure Sarge" Everyone said

 **At Med**

Erin finished interviewing the guy and as she was leaving she saw Maggie, "Hi" Maggie said

"Look i'm sorry about earlier, it's just something happened and I just wanted to forget about it"

"what did he do?"

"ugh... he um... kissed me" Erin said

"When?"

"Jay and Mouses memorial, he was drunk and said some hurtful stuff"

"Well he needs help so call me if he turns up" Maggie said to Erin as she left.

 **Jay's POV**

I was sat staring into space when I heard the sound of gunfire. I looked at Mouse and he was asleep. I slid over a bit and shook his arm, "Mouse, get up!"

"What?" He mumbled

"Can you hear that?"

Mouse sat up and listened, "Gunfire?"

"Yeah, it's coming closer"

"Do you think it's-"

"Hopefully"

"Yeah I know" Mouse said moving and sitting up against the wall with me

 **Erin's POV**

Me and Antonio were stood speaking to Platt when I heard a patrolman's radio go off next to me,

"Male on edge of roof, north Clark street."

"You got a description?" The patrolman said

"Black pants, blue shirt, brown to ginger hair, passers-by say he's a doctor at med"

I heard the description and turned around and grabbed the patrolman's radio, "Where is this?"

"North Clark street" As soon as he said this I looked up at Antonio,

"What?"

"Quick, it's Will"

"Shit" Antonio said as me and him ran out of the district and straight to the car

We raced to my apartment Block and I saw Will stood looking over the edge, "Um Dawson, call Kelly and get squad here now"

"They are already on their way"

"Good, just wait here"

"Lindsey what are you doing?"

"I have to talk to him"

"Just be careful"

"Always" I sad as I ran through the building door.

As the lift opened I ran up the remaining stairs onto the roof and busted through the door to see Will standing on the ledge. I walked across the stones on the roof and Will turned his head around,

"Go away Erin"

"Will please just talk to me"

"What's the point"

"Just come down and we can talk about this together "

"I can't do it anymore Erin"

I stood thinking when to do and I walked over to the edge of the building and climbed up,

"Are you crazy?" Will said to me

"What, you go I go, and all of that"

"Please don't do this Erin"

"Just talk to me"

"He's dead..."

"I know Will" I started to cry with him

"He was my best friend and he's gone, and I kissed you, probably lost my job. I really don't see what the point is anymore"

I grabbed his hand, "I forgive you but You still have a family, Me and your Nephew. Nat misses you very much. they've all been worried sick about where you have been. Trust me Will I wanted to jump when I found but I knew I still had people who cared about and I had George"

"I need him back Erin" Will looked at me

"I need him back to but he's gone Will, I'm sorry"

"I know, I just miss him so much"

"It's ok, we all feel the same and we are all here for you, just please lets get down off this roof and get some help"

"Promise, promise you are with me every step of the way"

"I promise Will, forever"

I watched as Will stepped backwards on to the roof and I saw the rest of the team had pulled up and I shakily turned around to get down off the roof but that was when my foot slipped.

 **Nobody's POV**

The team watched as Erin was hanging over the side of the building screaming and Voight and Dawson ran as fast as they could into the building and up the stairs,

"Hold on Erin!" Will said

"I can't to it for much longer Will, pull me up" she cried

"I can't Erin I don't have the strength to pull you up, just hold on..."

It was a couple of minutes until Voight and Antonio reached the roof, "Will!" Antonio shouted

"She's slipping, you have to help" He said

They ran over and grabbed Erin arms and pulled as hard as they could until Erin fell over the roof top and on to Will. Erin sat crying into Will as Antonio and Voight stood around trying to get their breath back after running up the stairs and saving Erin.

 **At the district**

Erin and Jay were sat talking in the break room when her phone rang,

"Hello"

"Erin Lindsey?"

"Yes who's this?"

"I'm with the ranger unit in Afghanistan and I have some information regarding your husband"

"My husband was declared m.i.a"

"Yeah we believe himself and Greg may have been located at an Afghani camp a number of miles away from our base camp"

"Is this a joke?"

"No i'm afraid not, we will confirm this and you will be contacted shortly" He said putting the phone down.

Erin put the phone down and looked at Will, "Who was that?"

"Someone from Afghanistan-"

"What about?"

"They think they found Jay and Mouse"

"Dead or alive?" Will asked

"He didn't say..."

 **Please comment or review**


	8. Rescue

The door flew open and Jay and Mouse were both grabbed and dragged outside to be met with a stand off surrounded by guns.

 **Jay's POV**

The pain in my leg was excruciating as I was dragged out of the room and as the second door opened I was blinded by the sun which I hadn't seen in months. I looked to the left of me and saw Jay on his knees too. There were guns in front if us and guns behind and I knew at this point that I probably was going to die.

 **Mouse's POV**

I couldn't see as the door opened, I felt like I had just seen light for what felt like years. I could hears Jays screams as he was pulled out behind me and all I could see was guns. There were guns everywhere. I couldn't move and I felt like in this second that I was going to die.

 **Nobody's POV**

Jay and Mouse could both see men from their camp and knew they had found them. Mouse could feel the barrel if the gun which was against the back of his head and he knew that at any point his life could end and he wouldn't even know about it.

"Let them go!" They heard their close friend and ranger Ben yell.

"We want something in return!"

"What?"

"Money..."

"We thought you might..." Ben walked back to one of the trucks and pulled out a briefcase and he walked back over to everyone, he threw the briefcase in between them,

"That's five million, cash. Now let them both go"

As a guy grabbed the money and ran back jay was stood up and he could feel the gun against his back and as he stepped forward the gun went off and a bullet ricocheted into his back and out of his stomach. He fell to the floor as the gunfire started and most of them were shot by the squad while others started to run. Mouse crawled across the floor and turned Jay over. He held his hands on the wound as the pool of blood surrounded his hands,

"GET A MEDIC NOW!" Mouse shouted as the squad were running over to help.

"Come on Jay, we're going home. Stay with me... Jay come on!" Jay started to close his eyes as Mouse felt himself get pulled away by Ben as the medic ran in to help Jay.

"NO, I have to help him!" Mouse screamed

"It's ok Mouse, you're safe now..." Ben said holding him back, "You're ok" He said to Mouse as he was crying.

 **In Chicago**

Erin and Will sat at her desk and waited for her phone to ring. The team were on their way back to the district and they waited for the news about Jay and Mouse. They were sat talking when Erin saw the phone buzzing on he desk, she spun round and grabbed the phone putting it up to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello, it's Karl Bates, commanding officer, we have new about your husband"

"What, is he alive?"

"Himself and Greg were rescued earlier on today"

Erin stood up and started to cry, "Were they Alive?"

"Yes they were-"

"Oh my god, are they ok?"

"They have sustained injuries but I'm not sure of all of them"

Erin was walking around when the team walked in, "Where are they?"

"They are being transferred now back now by us to Chicago medical centre"

"When will they be back?"

"In less than an hour now, but I am sorry to say that they both endured horrible events for a number of months after they were taken-"

"I can understand that but can you tell me what condition they are in?"

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you right now but you can meet our man at Chicago medical centre"

"Thank you so much" Erin said putting the phone down.

Erin placed the phone on her desk and she looked up and saw all the team stood staring at her, "What's happened?" Voight asked

"That was Jay's commanding officer... they found them..."

"Alive?" Antonio asked

"Yes, they being transferred to Med right now"

"Are they ok?"

"He couldn't tell me..."

"Well, where were they?"

"They were taken...tortured for months"

"How long till they are back?"

"Less than an hour so I'm go to the apartment and pick up some clothes and then we are gonna get to med with so we are there when they arrive"

"Yeah we'll all be down soon" Voight said

"Thanks" Erin said as she left with Will.

Erin went to her apartment and quickly got to Med, her and Will rushed inside and saw Maggie at the desk, "Have they arrived yet?"

"The helicopter!"

"Not yet, we heard its the rangers"

"It's Jay and Mouse"

"What?"

"They found they held captive in Afghanistan"

"Oh god they didn't tell us who they were just that it was critical"

"Critical... what did they say?"

"Just that it was urgent, did they not tell you?"

"He couldn't tell us the condition they were in"

"The helicopter should be here in minutes so just sit and wait and we'll get you as soon as they are brought in."

"Thanks Maggie" Erin and went to sit down when she heard her gather everyone round and tell them what was about to happen.

It has about half an hour later when Maggie and Connor were waiting on the roof with several nurses as the helicopter landed, "You ready?" Connor asked her

"yeah lets go" They pushed the gurneys across the roof and rushed over to the helicopter. As the door opened Mouse was pulled out first and he was asleep then Jay was pulled out and Maggie panicked as he being given CPR.

"How long's he been out?" Maggie asked

"About ten minutes"

"I'll take over" Maggie said climbing on to the gurney and continuing CPR.

They all rushed inside the hospital and they were both rushed to surgery. Jay to repair his bullet wound and Mouse to repair his leg. Maggie decided to wait for them both to be out of surgery before see told Erin and Will what was going on.

 **Erin's POV**

I had been waiting at least two hours and I still hadn't heard anything about Jay and as I looked behind me I saw Maggie walking past, "Maggie!" I shouted running over to her

"What's up?"

"Where's Jay?"

"He's in surgery, Mouse just got out he's resting"

"Why didn't you tell me..."

"We wanted to make sure they made it"

"Is it that bad?"

"I'm afraid so, do you want to see Mouse?"

"Yeah, now"

"Yeah come on" Maggie said taking me to Mouse's room.

Maggie left me alone to go to see Mouse and as I walked in, I gasped as I saw what he looked like and he opened his eyes,

"MOUSE!" I said rushing over to him

"are you ok?"

"Not really... Where's Jay?"

"He's in surgery, they wouldn't tell me anything, what happened out there Mouse?"

"I can't talk about it Erin" Mouse said turning his head away

"It's ok, I understand"

"They wouldn't let me help him" He whispered

"What... help who, help Jay?"

"I tried to save him but they just pulled me away"

"He's going to be ok Mouse, he had to be" I said grabbing his hand.

 **Please comment or review**


	9. Awake

Erin fell asleep in the chair next to Mouse's bed and Will walked in to wake her up,

"Hey Erin" He said shaking her arm

"Yeah" She said sitting up

"Jay's out of surgery, he's in his room"

"Which room?"

"He's next door, you can see him now"

"Thanks Will" Erin said rushing out.

As Erin walked into Jay's hospital room and saw him with his eyes open, she couldn't hold it in anymore as she saw the cast on his arm and leg and his face which was covered in bruises and just started crying. She just stood there not knowing what to say,

"Come here..." Jay said as she ran over and climbed onto his bed

"I can't believe you're alive" She sobbed

"I know me neither but i'm back and i'm not going anywhere" He said putting his arm around her.

After hours of laying together Erin sat up and stared at him,

"What?"

"I just never thought I would see your face again..."

"Yeah me neither, Wait...how's our son?"

"George...is amazing"

"George, you hated that name"

"But you loved it and I knew it would remind me of you everyday..."

Erin watched as tears filled up in Jay's eyes and she just hugged him, "I'm sorry Jay, I can't even bare to imagine what happened out there"

Jay didn't say anything and put her hand on his face, "But i'm going to help you through all of this"

"I know you will, how's Mouse?"

"Quiet but good, he's ok"

"Good" Jay said shutting his eyes

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm just tired"

"Well I'm gonna call Hank and let you sleep"

Erin went to get up off the bed when Jay grabbed her hand, "No, stay please"

"Ok I can stay, I'm not going anywhere" Erin said laying back down.

One week later

Mouse and Jay were sat in Jay's room talking, "How're you doing?"

"Oh it's just bruises and my leg and stomach but i'm getting better day by day" Mouse said

"I know what your injuries, I mean how are you feeling?"

"I don't know, I was more worried about you"

"I'm alright... just day by day you know"

"Day by day... where's Erin?"

"She's dropping George off they were here all night"

"Really what's he like"

"Perfect... I think he's just what I need."

The two were sat talking when the doctor Charles walked in, "Hey guys"

"Hey" They both said

"I thought I would come talk to you both"

"I'm good" Jay said

"I know it's hard but you went through a lot-"

Jay snapped as Erin was walking back to the room, "I don't need to talk to anybody, especially not a shrink. There is nothing you can say that will help me feel better about what happened out there and-"

"Jay..." Erin standing at the door.

"Get out!"

"Jay look we just-"

"GET OUT. NOW. ALL OF YOU."

"Jay-" Mouse started to say

"You too Mouse now!"

Mouse turned his wheelchair around and left the room while Erin followed behind. They were walking back to his room when Erin stood in front of him, "What were you talking about?"

"Nothing just how we were feeling"

"And what did he say?"

"He said he was taking it day by day like he always does."

"Yeah but what made him go like that"

"Dr Charles came in. Your didn't know when Jay was a ranger before. The stuff it does to him and him being seen by a shrink makes everything ten times worse."

"I just wanted to help him"

"Well it won't" Mouse said wheeling past her and into his room.

"Shit!" Erin said walking away.

 **Jay's POV**

Having people telling me I need help is what hurts the most and I couldn't lie in this hospital bed any longer knowing they think I'm going crazy. I slowly got in the wheelchair which was next tinny bed and started to leave the hospital and as I wheeled past Moises room I heard him shout, "hey where are you going?"

"Leaving this hospital" I said carrying on

"Jay!"

"I'll call you later Mouse"

I carried on going and jumper in an uber. The only place I wanted to go was home. Pulling up at the apartment was weird and I felt like I didn't even live here anymore. As I wheeled towards the door, I heard another one open,

I turned my head and saw the neighbour, "Jay?"

"Hey, Mary"

"Erin told me you were back, I'm looking after George today, did you want him"

"No i'm good, i'm just passing"

As I went into the apartment It didn't feel like it was my home and like I belonged here anymore. I grabbed bag and quickly left the apartment.

 **Nobody's POV**

Erin was sat at her desk working when she picked up her phone,

"Hey Mary, it's Erin"

"Hey, everything ok?"

"Yeah, i'm just gonna be a little late so it's fine if George falls asleep"

"Yeah That's fine, anyway it was good to see Jay today"

"What do you mean?"

"Jay went by the apartment about an hour ago"

"No Jay's in the hospital"

"It was defiantly Jay"

"Is he at the apartment?"

"No I saw him leave with a bag"

"Ok, I'll see you later" Erin said ending the call and picking it up again.

The phone ran for a while and finally someone answered, "Hey Will"

"Hey what's up?"

"Did Jay leave the hospital?"

"Yeah I've been trying to call him"

"Why didn't you call me"

"Because I didn't think is was a big deal"

"Well it is a big deal, he was all over the place this morning"

"I'm sure it's fine Erin"

"Well call me if he turns up"

Erin put the phone down and put her head in her hands, "UGH!" She slammed her hand down on the desk.

"What's going on?" Dawson said

"Jay left the hospital"

"Well, He probably just needed break"

"It's not that, Jay's a total mess at the minute and he isn't dealing with anything, I'm worried about him"

"I'm sure he's fine"

"Jay just came back after being tortured for months and now his just disappeared without telling anyone!"

"Ok I'll ping his phone, just to be safe"

"Thanks Antonio"

After a couple minutes later Antonio walked into the bullpen and up to Erin, "anything?"

"Try not to panic but Jays phone is off."

"Dammit lets go"

"Where?"

"To look for him" Erin said running down the stairs.

Erin kept trying his phone but he just wasn't answering and the more she rang the more worried she got.


	10. Breathe

I need space, being in the hospital made me feel like I was trapped again and I just needed some time to sort out however I feel. I didn't know where I was going and my leg being in a cast made it harder to drive. I knew I wanted to be with Erin but her constantly worrying about me made everything worse.

I got to a stop sign when I saw a guy swerving all over the road and before I got the chance to move out of the way he hit the back of my car pushing me out into the intersection but as I went to move I looked to the right as the truck went straight into the side of my car. The last thing I could remember was my car flying through the air.

 **Nobody's POV**

Erin and Antonio had looked everywhere for Jay and they were on their way to the firehouse when Erin drove past her apartment. "Wait!" Erin slammed her breaks on and looked behind her, "His car is gone"

"He's driving?" Antonio asked

"There is no way in hell he should be driving" Erin started her car up again and drove faster to the fire house. She ran inside and saw everyone inside and she saw Gabby who was Jay's close friend sitting at the end of the table, "Have you seen Jay?"

"No, sorry, I've been meaning to visit him, what's going on?"

"He left the hospital without being discharged"

"No he defiantly hasn't been here, but I'll call you if he does."

"Thanks" Erin and Jay were about to walk out of the door when the alarm sounded, She wasn't paying any attention to it until the end, 'One known male casualty' .

She spun around and saw Gabby and she grabbed her, "We are gonna follow"

"Sure" Gabby said as they ran out.

Before Erin even pulled up she knew it was Jay's car, Erin was out of the car before she stopped and she ran across the road and skidded on to her knees to look through the car window which was upside down.

Severide turned around looked at Antonio, "What the hell is she doing?"

"ITS HALSTEAD" He shouted as he was getting out of the car.

Erin looked through the window at Jay who has his eyes shut, "Jay... Jay can you here me?"

"Er..." Jay tried to turn his head

"Yeah it's me, don't move we are gonna get you out"

"I wasn't leaving I promise, I was just driving"

"I know, I believe you just breathe Jay breathe"

Everyone was over to them within seconds and Casey pulled Erin out of the way, "I'm sorry Erin but... but we have to get him out so just stand to the side"

"Ok, just help him"

Severide got down next to Jay and looked at him, "Ok, what hurts?"

"Nothing..."

"What do you mean nothing?"

"I'm numb..."

Severide turned back around and looked at his squad, "We need to get him out now, no taking it slow"

"I'll grab the saw" Cruz said running back to the truck.

They quickly pulled him out of the car and put him onto the gurney but as Gabby looked at him she saw the blood which was seeping through his shirts. She lifted it up and looked at the massive gash which was across his stomach,

"We need to get him to med now... Erin we need space..."

"I'll be right behind you in the car" Erin said running over and jumping in her car.

 **At Chicago med**

The doors crashed open and Connor came running over with April, "It's Jay, weak pulse, unknown injuries apart from large cut on his stomach"

"Ok, Trauma 2 now. Someone page Dr Halstead now"

Jay was rushed in to the room and his eyes shot open, "ERIN?" He shouted

"Jay you're at med, Erin outside"

"You need to tell her..."

"Tell her what?" Connor said

"That it was an accident and I didn't do it on purpose"

"That doesn't matter now Jay we are just going to check that you are ok"

Connor was checking on Jay when Natalie came running in, "Jay?"

"Nat, is that you?"

"Yeah what's going on?"

"I don't know I can't feel anything"

Nat looked at Connor and as he lifted up the blanket he pulled out his pen and pushed it against Jay's foot, "Jay tell me when you can feel this..."

Jay looked up at Nat and saw the look on her face, "Is he doing it yet?"

"Just tell him when you feel it..."

"Oh my god, he's doing it isn't he" The tears rolled down Jay's face

"I know you're scared, but we are going to do everything we can to make this right...okay"

"Can you get Erin for me?"

"Yeah sure, she'll be right in"

Nat walked out of the room and saw Erin keeled up against the wall. She walked over to Erin and she stood up. Nat hugged her and looked at her, "Jay wants you but... but you can't touch him"

"What's going on?"

"He can't feel anything at the minute"

"He's paralysed?"

"We don't know that yet, We are still running tests."

Erin grabbed Nat's hands, "Look he can't be paralysed he's still struggling from coming back from Afghanistan. I don't even know why he was driving in the first place."

"I know and We are going to figure it out but right now we need you to be strong for him and go see him"

"Yeah, you're right" Erin said walking into Jay's room

Erin walked up to him and saw him lying flat on the bed in a neck brace, She wanted to grab his hand so badly but she knew she couldn't not until we knew the extent of the damage. It took a few hours for the all the tests to be ran and Erin was snoozing in the chair next to Jay's bed when she heard shouting. She walked out of the room and it was Mouse on crutches trying to get past two nurses, "I have to see him, now. I need to know he's ok."

Erin looked to her left as she saw the security guards walking over so she ran over to Mouse and grabbed him, "It's ok" She said to the nurses and security.

"What happened?" Mouse said as he and Erin sat down outside the room, "He was driving and crashed somehow"

"On purpose?"

"I don't know, they're still doing tests on him"

"What have they said so far"

"Jay said he couldn't feel anything so they're doing loads of different tests on him"

"I can't believe this is happening I should have stopped him from leaving"

"When did you see him?"

"He went past my room this morning"

"Ugh what the hell was he doing out there... do you think he needs help?"

"He needs help but it depends what kind... he wouldn't have any before even though we tried so hard."

"He will, if he really cares about me, you and his son"

"Well we'll see"

 **Next part will be up soon, please comment or review.**


	11. Chance

Jay was in his room with Erin next to him when Connor and Nat came in, "What's going on?" Erin asked

"Everything has come back clear...look"

"So it's temporary?"

Connor passed Jay the tablet which was showing his scan when it fell from his hand on to the floor. Connor bent down and picked it up, "Jay we would appreciate it if you didn't break our equipment" He laughed

"I didn't drop it on purpose, I couldn't hold it"

"Ok, squeeze my fingers..."

"I can't, it's getting worse. Connor you have to help me man"

"We will, Nat give him some steroids and we need to get him to an MRI now"

"Ok, steroids are in"

"Jay the steroids still need time to kick in but we are still taking you to an MRI"

Connor and Nat were taking Jay when Will ran across the hall, "I was in surgery, what happened?"

"Car accident" Nat said

"Car accident, where are you going?"

"MRI, he's showing signs of paralysis"

"Did you give him Steroids?"

"Yeah, still waiting to see a change"

"Will, we need to intubate " Nat said to him

"No" Jay said

"Jay it's important that your airway is supported while you are in the the MRI. If your paralysis covers your entire body, your airway will close."

"I'm not having no damn tube, I need to be able to talk, so no tube"

"Jay..."

"NO!"

"Okay, but as soon as you feel anything different you tell me"

"Fine..."

Erin and Jay were back in his room when she started talking to him, "I'm just going to say it Jay, why the hell were you driving?"

"I don't know"

"Did you try and kill yourself?"

"I told you when I was upside down in a fucking car that it was an accident"

Erin stood up and looked at Jay's face, "What were you doing then, leaving me, leaving us"

"No"

"What then Jay, what were you doing?"

Jay was getting more and more angry to point where he pushed Erin to get out of the room, "Jay..."

"What!"

"You just pushed me..."

"I pushed you... I can move my legs"

Erin ran out of the room and shouted Connor, "What's going on?" He said running in

"I can move my legs"

"Squeeze my hands"

Jay squeezed his hands and everyone just smiled, "We knew you had a chance of coming back to this, the steroids just took longer to set in"

"Thanks Connor"

"No Problem, we'll get this Brace off and back upstairs in a few hours"

"Thank you"

Jay was sat up in the bed and Erin just hugged him, "I'm so sorry Jay"

"No i'm the one that should be sorry."

"I need you to promise me one thing... well two. One you will never step foot in a car again until you are better and healed and two you need to let me help you, and you can't do this alone"

"I know but I just need time. You didn't know me when I was overseas before and I scare myself of what I can be capable of so you need to understand that if I have to leave for a break that you will let me because I would never forgive myself if I hurt you"

"Well you are my husband and I trust every single day of my life" Erin said leaning forward and kissing him, "I love you Jay"

"I love you"

 **Two weeks later**

Erin walked into Jay's hospital room with George in her arms. As she walked in Jay was stood up putting his things in a bag, "Ah there's my beautiful family"

"Good morning, are we ready to go home"

"I sure am... lets see my boy then" Erin said passing George to him.

"You are so big, georgie boy" Jay said sitting down in the wheelchair as Erin grabbed his bag.

"Uh lets go home" Erin said pushing him out of the room.

They were walking towards the exit when they saw Connor, "Hey Connor. I just wanted to say thanks. You really helped me these last few weeks"

"No problem just doing my job but my last conditions of you leaving are, No standing on your broken leg, try and stay off your feet as much as possible and no driving..."

"I don't think you have to worry about that not with Erin around"

"Ha yeah you got that right, thanks Connor bye"

Erin and Jay left the hospital with their son and everyone seemed to be happy... for now.

Jay was now on his crutches as they walked into the apartment. George was asleep in Erin's arms and she went to put him down for a nap, "I'll be right back, did you remember you have an appointment with Dr Charles tomorrow" she said as she walked into Georges nursery.

"I think i'll give it a miss" Erin heard as she laid George down. Erin listened to what he said and she put her hands on the side of the crib and took a deep breath, "We spoke about this Jay..." She said walking out and shutting the door.

"Well, I don't want to go tomorrow"

"You promised me you would do this Jay"

"ERIN...I just left the hospital, i need a break from that place... I promise I will go when i'm ready"

"You better, anyway I have to go to the store then quickly to the district to pickup some paper work and then I will be back soon. You alright with George?"

"Yeah he is my son and he'll probably just sleep anyway."

"Ok call me if you need me for anything"

"Bye Erin."

After Erin left Jay just sat staring into space and then he grabbed his crutches and made his way to the bedroom. He stood in front of the mirror and stared at the cuts and the bruises which were still on his face and the more he started into the mirror he saw himself stood back in his uniform about to go back to Afghanistan. The anxiety built up inside Jay and he punched the mirror twice cutting his hand in the process. He could hear George waking up but he went and locked himself in the bathroom.

 **Erin's POV**

I'm glad I managed to see everyone at the district but I was eager to get home and check on Jay, I know I should trust him but it's just hard when he has memories coming back front and centre. I walked into the apartment and called for Jay but I didn't get an answer. I walked into Georges room and noticed he was still asleep but as I walked towards the bedroom, I stood on something sharp. I lifted my foot up to see it bleeding and I pulled out a chuck of glass.

"Jay?" I walked to the bedroom and saw the floor covered in glass and I looked to my right to see the smashed mirror. I couldn't see Jay in the room and I ran over to the bathroom but the door was locked, "Jay open the door...now"

I heard the door unlock and I slowly opened it to see Jay sat on the side of the bath with a towel which was covered in blood over his hand, "What the hell happened?"

"I was looking in the mirror and I got a memory and punched it, I didn't mean to do it"

"Yeah I know I believe you lets just get your hand cleaned up"

I grabbed a clean towel and ran it under the water and looked at Jay's hand, "It's not too bad, I'll grab a bandage"

I wiped all the blood from his hand and wrapped the bandage around it. I sat on the edge on the bath and he put his head on my shoulder as I grabbed his hand, "Listen you need to talk to me Jay, any time, any place I don't care but we have to do this together"

"I promise I really do"


	12. PTSD

Erin's POV

I woke up and I could feel the whole side of my right arm wet. I turned on my side light and looked over at Jay who was tossing and turning all over the bed. I looked down at my arm and wiped off what I realised was sweat. I didn't know what to do so I raced out of bed and into the kitchen grabbing my phone off the counter. The only thing I could think to do was dial Will,

"Hello..." he slurred

"Hey it's Erin"

"Erin it's like three in the morning what's up?"

"I didn't know what to do. Jay seems to be having some kind of nightmare, he's moving around mumbling sweating. Shall I wake him up?"

"No no no don't touch him. He will wake up soon when it's over. Trust me waking him up from one of his dreams is when he can lash out and he would never forgive himself if he hurt you."

"Ok how do you know for sure?"

"Cause I had to move in with Jay when he came back last time and he used to have a lot of dreams"

"Thanks Will"

"Yeah no problem just let me know how he is" Will said putting the phone down

I didn't know what to do so I just laid down on the couch while I could hear Jay mumbling and what sounded like whimpering. It wasn't long before I felt my eyes go heavy and even though I wanted to stay awake, I just couldn't think I could do it anymore.

Jay's POV

I could still the gunfire which was flying around my brain but I suddenly went away and I shot up in bed. I wiped the sweat from my head and as I looked to my left Erin wasn't in bed. I got out of bed and walked out of the bedroom to see Erin in the couch and the first thing which came to my mind was what did I do. As I walked past George's room I heard him crying so I walked in and picked him up from his crib, "Morning buddy" I said as I walked back toward the door but as I went to walk out I could footsteps running across the apartment.

Nobody's POV

"Jay?" Erin ran around the corner and stopped

"What's going on?" Jay asked as she let out a breath

"I just didn't know what you were doing...where are your crutches?"

"Are you serious, what you thought I was going to hurt my son"

"Well you were having a nightmare. I was worried"

"And I woke up Erin. I have dealt with these many times before I met you."

"I know that Jay. Come on you need your crutches"

"I know I'm gonna get dressed and go see Mouse"

"Jay I didn't mean-"

"No it's not you. I just haven't seen him in a while"

"I got back to work today, I thought you were going to look after George today"

"I'm not ready and you clearly think that too" Jay passed George to Erin and he hobbled back to the bedroom and closed the door.

"Dammit..." Erin said as she put George back in his crib realising she approached that wrong.

Erin was getting breakfast when Jay walked across the apartment, "I'll see you later" Jay opened the door

"Jay wait..." Jay didn't listen to Erin he just shut the door and left. She groaned and picked up George from the couch, "lets go to work then" she said as she grabbed all her bags and George's carrier.

Erin walked in the the district and the first thing she saw was Platt look at her, "Erin-" she started

"I'm sorry ok I'm late as it is" Erin said as she rushed up the stairs and through the gate up to the bullpen. Erin walked into the bullpen and saw Voight stood at the door and he just looked at Erin, "I'm sorry Hank ok, Jay was supposed to look after him today but he couldn't" Erin said holding on to George.

"What happened?"

"Nothing ok. He just had a bad night" Erin peered round and looked at all her team.

"Did he do something?" Hank said taking a step forward

"NO... he would never ever do that ok but he is struggling and I don't blame him ok. Kidnapped and tortured, in hospital for week, car accident and phycologists front right and centre so he needs a break ok. He's gone to see Mouse today."

"Okay" Voight said walking back into his office as Erin sat down at her desk wth George.

Jay stepped out of the car and walked through the hospital doors. He was walking towards the elevator when he saw Will,

"Hey Will" Jay shouted across the floor

"Oh hey what are you doing here today"

"Oh I'm just going to see Mouse. He's getting discharged tomorrow"

"I know he is. Anyway why don't you just tell everyone that you have been seeing Dr Charles"

"Wha-"

"Come on Jay I work here you seriously think I haven't seen you sneaking up there two times a week"

"I just wanted to do it on my own you know"

"You had a bad night then, another nightmare?"

"How do you know?"

"I just assumed-"

"Erin called you didn't she, that's why she was asleep on the couch because you told her not to wake me up."

"She didn't know what to do Jay. She has to deal with this to"

"Yeah well I didn't expect her to ring my brother" Jay turned around and started to walk back towards the door

"What about Dr Charles?"

"Ugh forget it!" Jay shouted as he walked out the door

Jay jumped back in an Uber and he could feel the anger building up inside of him, "Where are we going today?" The driver said

"Chicago pd!"

Jay walked straight up the stairs and saw Erin sitting at her desk and he watched as she lifted her head and saw him, "What are you doing here?" She smiled

"You called my brother?"

Erin stood up and walked over, "When?"

"Oh don't play stupid Erin, I know you called him this morning"

"Ok yeah because I was scared"

"SCARED OF WHAT?"

"OF YOU JAY, YOU OK"

"WHY NOT TELL ME THEN!"

"BECAUSE-"

"No Erin I told you this was going to be hard, and you went behind my back again and again"

"I know it's hard but what are you even doing about it..."

"Do you want to know where i've been going twice a week for the like two weeks... i've been going to see Dr Charles so I could do this on my own and get better... FOR YOU"

"Jay, I didn't-"

"Didn't what... didn't know what I have been doing. yeah you seen to be doing that a lot at the minute... sleeping on the couch, watching my every move, running into George's room in the morning when I got to pick him because you think I am going to hurt him... You don't understand what it's like for me Erin. I can't just get back to normal" Jay lifted up his crutches and walked back towards the stairs.

"Jay, I'm sorry" Erin cried

"I'll see you at home Erin, hopefully you want think i'm going to hurt someone or something" Jay said walking down the stairs.

Erin stood in the middle of the bullpen and put her head in hands and cried. She looked up and Antonio was stood in front of her, "What have I done" Erin said to him as he walked over. Antonio pulled her hands away from her face and looked at her, "It's going to get better... Jay is going to get better but it is going to take time for him to get used to being back here in Chicago. For god's sake Erin he thought he was going to die any minute"

"I know" Erin said as Antonio hugged her.


	13. Work

It had been two months and now Jay had almost healed he was going back to work today. Erin woke up and walked out into the kitchen calling for Jay and she walked over to the kitchen and saw the note on the counter. She picked up the note and read it, _"Sorry, I left early for the district. Had to sort some stuff out love you"_

"Ok..." Erin put the note down and walked back into her bedroom to get dressed. She quickly threw on some clothes and then she grabbed George before dropping him off with her neighbour for the day.

Erin arrived at the district and walked up the stairs and saw the team, "Morning guys..."

"Hey" everyone around said.

"Where's Jay?" Erin said looking around

"Oh him and Antonio went out on a case" Ruzek said

"What already... well was Jay ok?"

"Erin he was fine this morning, he was actually up for it and I haven't seen that in a long time"

"Good, i just worry you know"

Antonio and Jay were searching through a house when Antonio looked at him, "So how is everything?"

"Good, it alright"

"What about with Erin, I heard it's been rough"

"Yeah but what relationship isn't rough at some points"

"Yeah but your reason was a little different"

"Ok, I don't know. We are working through it it just seems like she doesn't want me doing anything because she think i'm going to shatter like glass"

"She just cares about you bro"

"I know, but she's never been through anything like this before with me"

"Yeah I know"

Jay walked out on to the balcony and looked out and as he turned back around he heard Antonio shout, "Halstead, I found something..."

As he took a step forward he heard a bang come from a closet and he pulled his gun out and walked towards it and as he reached his hand to open it, the door flung open and he saw a guy hurdling towards him and before he knew it he was being pushing back and forth by a guy and as Jay started to fight back the guy ran at Jay and pushed him and as he pushed him Jay grabbed on to the guy and they both went tumbling off the balcony. Antonio ran in as he heard the commotion and he just saw as Jay fell off. He ran over and looked over, "HALSTEAD!"

"I'm good..." He said as he pushed the guy off who was unconscious. Antonio ran downstairs and out the door as Halstead was starting to stand up.

"You good?"

"Just winded..." He said as he stood with his hands on his knees while Antonio handcuffed the guy.

"You need to go to med?"

"Nah I'll be fine, Lets just get back"

Antonio passed the guy over to two patrolmen and drove back to the district. They pulled up when Jay said, "Hey lets just keep this between us"

"Jay you know we have to report accidents"

"Please not this one, Erin will go crazy if she finds out, I'll be lucky if she even lets me walked around again."

"Ok, but this was your idea not mine"

They walked into the district and Jay walked over to his desk and sat down, "Where's Erin?"

"Coffee run" Atwater said

Everyone carried on working and about ten minutes later Erin walked up the stairs and handed everyone coffee. Then she walked over to Jay as he was stood over his desk and she flung her arms around him from behind and hugged him but as she hugged him Jay winced and let out a groan, "Are you ok?" She asked looking worried

"Yeah I'm fine"

"Jay..." He started to walk around when she grabbed him and lifted up his t-shirt and saw his whole back covered in bruises, "What the hell happened?" She said as the rest of the team looked and Jay's back caught there attention.

Jay didn't answer so she asked again, "What happened?" but this time she looked at Dawson.

"Ugh..." Antonio groaned, "... We were out on a case and Jay got attacked from behind and they both took a fall from a first storey balconey" Antonio said as Jay stared at him the whole time.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"It was nothing Erin, I'm fine"

"Your back doesn't look fine to me... did you forget that only two months ago you were temporarily paralysed from injuring your spine in a car crash"

"Oh yeah Erin, that just slipped my mind you know, that I crashed my car you know like it didn't affect me at all" He started to walk away

"Jay..."

"What Erin, when is this gonna end-"

"What?"

"The constant worrying, acting like I can't even walk to the bathroom on my own, watching my every step... well at least you actually trust me with my own son now. When are you gonna actually let me live my life, all I wanted was to come back to work and you are already ruining that for me."

"I just care about you"

"I'm not just going to shatter at any minute like you think I am, Do you still think I would still be here if I wasn't strong enough to handle, because I have learn't to manage that now..."

Jay stopped taking and noticed Voight stood at the door, "What's going on?"

"Nothing Sarge" Jay said

"Jay went flying off a balcony this morning after having a fight with a suspect" Erin said as Jay groaned

"I didn't hear about this, It wasn't reported... Halstead"

"No it wasn't" Erin said looking at Jay

"Well lets make a note of it and move on"

"Sure Sarge" Jay said sitting down at his desk while Erin sat down at hers.

It wasn't long until Jay noticed Erin was staring at her, "What?"

"What do you mean... what?"

"You've been staring at me for the past ten minutes, I was just wondering when you were going to say what you have been dying to say"

"I don't have anything to say anything to you anymore"

"Anymore... what are we going then?"

"What do you mean?"

"We've clearly changed and I don't see how we can change what's going on between us" Jay stood up and walked towards the stairs.

"What do you mean then?" Erin said standing at her desk

"I think we need a break..."

"A break..."

"Yeah a break... I'll be at Molly's if anyone wants me"

"It's 11am, We're still working Halstead" Antonio said

"Not anymore" He shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

Erin sat down and looked at the team, "You need to sort this out Erin" Adam said

"Don't you think I've been trying... he's spiralling and I knew it would happen sooner or later"

 **Please comment and review.**


	14. Breaking Point

Since I watched Jay walked down them stairs, I knew from this point forward that it was going to get worse than this. I sat at my desk when I grabbed my bag and stood up to leave, "Where you going?" Antonio asked

"To Molly's. To find Jay"

"I'm coming with you" He said standing up

"You don't have-"

"No you don't know what state he's going to be in"

"Okay" I said as we both left together.

 **Nobody's POV**

Erin and Anotnio got to Molly's and saw Jay's car parked on the street, "He's definitely here". They walked inside and looked over at the bar and saw Hermann point over to one of the booths at the end of the bar. Erin walked over but turned to Antonio, "Let me talk to him first..."

"Sure I'll wait at the bar"

Erin walked over and looked at Jay who was slouched in the seat surrounded by beer bottles.

Jay could hear the gunfire filling his head and the noise and explosions going off in every direction. He could see Mouse being beaten almost to death. It was all he could think about but he could hear a familiar voice in the background, "You coming home?" she asked him as he came out of his trance

"No"

"Jay, you can't do this..."

"Why not?"

"Because you have me your wife and George your son"

Jay listened to to Erin and he stood up and got in her face, "You think that makes me feel bad, huh... that your my wife, we've had sex once since I came back and we don't even love each other anymore"

Erin saw Antonio step forward and she put her hand up to tell him to stay put, "Jay this isn't you and you know it"

"How would you know"

"You're drunk Jay"

"And the award goes too..."

"JAY... I am your wife. I love you and I've been trying to help you. I want to help you through this"

"Well I don't need your help anymore" Jay slurred his words

Erin reached forward and grabbed his arm but as she did that he quickly reacted by pulling away but as he pulled away he pushed Erin and she fell to the ground. Antonio was over to Erin as she hit the floor and he got down next to her, "you ok?"

Erin nodded her head and looked up at Jay who looked just as surprised as she was. "Erin, I... I... I'm so sorry. You touched me and I reacted you knew what happen-" Jay was explaining himself when Antonio stood up and grabbed his shirt and pushed him up against the wall, "you need to get your shit together man!" Antonio said.

Erin quickly stood up and she could see Jay was in distress so she pulled Antonio off as hard as he could and Jay fell to the ground, "I'm I'm sor... sorry" he sobbed as Erin sat down next to him and pulled him into her arms.

"I know Jay"

"What have I done, what have I done" Jay kept repeating

"It's ok, I'm going to help you Jay, I'm gonna help you".

Antonio and Hermann stood and watched as Erin was trying to help Jay through this but they could see he was a broken man. Jay and Erin didn't move for a few hours Erin just sat up against the wall with Jay in her lap. She was stroking his hair when she looked down at him, "do you feel like going home?"

He nodded his head and Erin looked at Antonio for some help. Antonio walked over to help Jay up and as he went to grab his arm he pulled away, "no Jay it's ok. It's Tony, he's just trying to help" Erin said.

Jay put his hand out and Antonio pulled him up off the ground but as Jay stood up he looked at Antonio and hugged him, "I'm sorry" he said as he let go and he walked out with Erin.

Erin and Jay got back to the apartment and Jay walked through the door as the next door neighbour came out, "oh hey I'll pick George up in a little bit" Erin said to her

"Yeah that's fine" she said walking back in and shutting the door.

Erin walked in the apartment but she couldn't see Jay, "Jay?" She walked through the apartment and into the bedroom to see Jay packing a bag which was on the bed, "Jay, we need to be together on this"

"I can't, I don't trust myself. I need some time to get better and I can't hurt you in the process" Jay picked up his bag and went to walk out of the room when Erin grabbed, "you will be hurting me if you walk out that door"

"Erin I don't know what I'm capable of right now and I don't know to what extent I could go to right now. I can't risk it for and especially not for George. It's only for a few weeks" Jay said pulling his bag away and walking out the door.

Erin turned around as she watched him leave and she slowly backed up and slid down the wall. She pulled her knees up to her chest and just cried. She loved Jay and she wished she'd told him. It may have changed his mind.


	15. Secrets

Days turned into weeks and then weeks turned into Months and Jay still hasn't come home.

"Why didn't you tell him?" Voight said

"HE COULDN'T HANDLE IT, I'VE TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE!"

"Yeah but it's been Four Months Erin... as soon as he sees you he's going to know"

"He's coming home when he's ready" Erin walked out and sat back at her desk.

Erin and the team spend the day doing paperwork and working on a new case, "Do you ever interview that guy in the corner shop?"

"Yeah Me and Atwater did" Kim said across the room

"Well did he seem-" Erin stopped talking as she looked out the corner of her eye and saw someone at the top of the stairs. She turned her head and saw Jay just stood there, "Jay?" Erin stayed sat down

"Hey guys" Everyone could see from Jay's face that he was just sad.

Jay started to walk over to Erin and he looked at her, "Can we talk?"

"Well are you coming home"

"Erin... I just wanted to talk to you"

"Are. you. coming. home?"

"Yes I am. I want to"

"Why?"

"I'm good. I moved in with Will and I've been seeing Dr Charles twice a week since I left"

Erin stood up and pushed her chair in but as soon as she did Jay noticed, "Erin..."

"What?"

"Your pregnant"

"..." Erin didn't know what to say she just looked at him

"How far?"

"18 weeks"

"Is it mine?"

"Of course it is"

Erin went and stood in from of Jay, "Why didn't you tell me!"

"I didn't want you to be stres-" Erin was explaining to Jay when he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.

"Jay... You're not mad?" She said pushing him back

"It's what I needed... Hope... I love you Erin and I'm so sorry"

"No I'm sorry, I should've told you"

"I'm coming home"

"Your coming home" Erin said hugging him.

It had been two weeks and Jay was home, he rolled over in bed and wrapped his arm around Erin, "Morning" She said

"Did I wake you?"

"No, our baby is always very awake in the morning"

"Ummm our baby."

"That's right" Erin said as Jay kissed her

"We should probably get up... we don't want to miss your appointment"

"Ugh, I just wanna stay here with you"

"Me too but we can't... anyway I want to find out if she is ok"

"She, You think it's a girl?"

"I just have a feeling"

"I think it's another boy"

"really?"

"Um speaking of boys, I can hear George"

"i'll get him" Jay said getting up out the bed as Erin stared at him as he put a T-shirt on.Erin was so happy that Jay was back and they were happy but it still broke her heart to see all bruises and scars from when Jay was in Afghanistan.

Erin and Jay got dressed and left for the hospital with George. They got in the car and drove to Med. Erin and Jay waited until they finally got called through, she laid down on the bed and the doctor came in, "Good morning" She said

"Hi..." Erin replied

"Shall we look at baby then... you must be dad then. Haven't seen you before" She said to Jay.

Jay felt a little bad by what she said but he smiled, "Yeah, I'm Jay"

They doctor was scanning Erin and checking everything was ok when Erin looked at the doctor, "Can we find out the sex?"

"You sure... I know you wanted to wait"

Erin turned her head and looked at Jay, "There's no reason to wait anymore" She said as Jay nodded his head

"Well I can tell you it's a girl"

Erin quickly looked at Jay and he had the biggest smile on his face, "Oh my god... A girl"

"You said it would be a girl" Erin said

"I knew" Jay smiled

Erin stopped smiling and looked back at the doctor, "Do you think I will go full term this time"

"There's no way of us knowing... last time was due to stress so there's a large possibility that you will go full term"

"Thank you" Erin got up of the bed and grabbed George's stroller.

"Let's go" Erin said as to Jay as they left.

As they left the hospital they took George to the nanny and then they went to the district, "Do you think Voight will let me back?" Jay said as they walked towards the back door but what they didn't see was the hundreds of people who were stood outside the district

"Yeah, I'm sure he will"

They walked through the basement and up the stairs but when they got into the bullpen, it was chaos everywhere. There were desks pushed out of place and they couldn't see anyone anywhere. Jay walked in front of Erin and called out, "VOIGHT... TONY?"

They both checked in the break room and Voights office but there wasn't anyone but when Erin turned around she saw a man with a gun.

"Jay..." Erin trembled

Jay turned around and immediately stood in front of Erin, "What's going on, who are you?"

The guy and pointed the gun at them, "SHUT UP!" The guy shouted

"Let's go" Another guy said appearing from behind them and lifting his gun up and grabbed Erin. Jay turned around and he quickly pulled her into his chest, "Ok, we'll do what you say"

"SIT!" He said pointing a gun at him.

Jay and Erin sat down on the ground when another guy came out of where the interview rooms were but he had Antonio and Ruzek handcuffed and at gunpoint. They were all sat down when the three men walked over to the other side of the room

"What the hell are you doing here?" Antonio said who's head was bleeding

"We came to talk to Voight, what is going on?"

"We grabbed part of their crew... they weren't to happy about it?" Antonio whispered

"Where's everyone else?"

"Out working on a case, how did you get in?"

"through the back"

"There was someone down there... they let you in"

"Dammit... are you ok?" Jay said turning to Erin who was rubbing her stomach

"Yeah I'm fine"

"You sure..."

"I think so"

One of the guys came back over and stood in front of them all, "So... where's the keys?"

"What keys?" Jay said

"The keys to the cells downstairs"

"We don't have them"

"Who does?"

"The guards... who are outside"

"Well it's time for a phone call" The guy moved down the line and pointed the gun at Erin, "You"

"No!" Jay said, "I'll do it"

"I didn't say you... now move" He said pulling Erin up to her feet and pushed her into Voights office.

Erin's POV

I walked into the office and picked up the phone. I dialled Hanks number and waited for him to answer, "Hank?"

"Erin where are you?"

"In your office"

"Why the hell are you inside?"

"Me and Jay came to talk to you"

"Are you ok, is Antonio and Adam in there?"

"I'm alright. Yeah they are"

"Ok, how many?"

"Three..."

"Guns?"

"Yeah... they want to keys"

"Keys to what"

"Keys to the cells"

"Why"

"You arrested most of their crew"

"How do they expect us to give them the keys?"

The guy pulled the phone from my hand and put it to his ear, "figure it out" he said putting the phone down.

I turned around and he waved the gun in my face, "so you work here?"

"Yeah"

"He's your... husband" he said pointing a Jay

"Yeah he is"

"How far along are you?"

"Five months... look I guess you didn't come here to make friends so can I just go back to my husband" I went to walk past him when he went in front of me.

"No. We can't have you having that baby here. So you sit in here get comfy. We have things to do" he said as he walked out and shut the door on me leaving me in Hanks office.

I sat down in his chair and looked through the window to see Jay. I rubbed my bump as I felt her kicking and I looked to the left at Hank desk. I pull the draw but it was locked so I pulled the letter opener off the desk top and moved around the draw until I heard it unlock. I pulled the door open and I had a sign of relief. I knew Hank kept a spare gun in his desk and I was so happy it was there.

I pulled the gun out and checked that it was loaded, after I looked up I saw Jay looking at me and I looked around the bullpen and checked for the guys and I pulled the gun up for Jay to see. I saw the look on his face and how his shook his head to tell me not to do anything because he didn't want me to get hurt.

Jay's POV

As soon as I saw Erin hold the gun up I started to panic. I didn't want her doing anything that would get her hurt or maybe even killed. I turned and looked at Antonio who was still bleeeing, "you ok man?"

"Yeah I'm ok"

"Erin has a gun" I really quietly whispered

"Where?"

"Voights office"

"She can't do anything"

"I know but I can't stop her"

"Think of something..."

I sat thinking what to do and I looked up on the guy, "can I check on my wife"

"NO!"

"What are you going to do if she goes into labour?"

"Not my problem"

"Not my problem. That's on you then"

"Ok"


	16. Gunpoint

Erin saw the guy walking back to the office so she tucked the gun in her pants and grabbed the letter open shoving it in her pocket.

"Let's go!" He said grabbing her

"Get off me!" She shouted as she pulled away but he pulled her closer

"Hey bitch, I'm the one with the gun remember"

Erin sat down on the floor and looked a Jay who was now handcuffed, "you alright?" He asked her

"Not really"

"You got it?" Jay said referring to the gun

"Yeah" Erin then grabbed the letter opener and slid it into Jay's pocket.

It was hours later and they were all still waiting to something to happen but there was no contact being made, "How long till you get them keys huh, because it doesn't look like they are giving them to you" Jay said

"Well then lets go see what taking so long" The guy said as he grabbed Jay of the floor, "Bring her too" He said as Erin was picked up off the floor

"No you leave her alone!" Jay shouted fighting back only to be hit around the face by a gun

"It's ok, it's ok" Erin said to make him stop.

Erin and Jay were led downstairs and the door was kicked open and they were pushed outside. They watched as every single gun around them was lifted up. Both guys stood behind Erin and Jay and put their guns to their head,

"IF WE DON'T GET THEM KEYS IN FIFTEEN MINUTES... HE DIES"

"AND IF WE DON'T GET A CAR READY FOR US... SHE DIES"

"We'll talk about the keys when you let my detectives go!" Voight shouted back

"I DON'T THINK YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING THE DECISIONS HERE!" He said pressing the gun harder against Erin's head, "THE CLOCKS TICKING" he said as they were both pulled back inside.

 **Voight's POV**

"Dammit!" I said hitting the car which was behind me.

"Sarge what are we gonna do?" Atwater asked

"We wait"

"But he said-"

"I know what he said Kevin"

 **NOBODY'S POV**

As they were pushed back up to the bullpen Erin called out in pain, "ugh..."

Jay looked up at Erin and saw her holding her stomach, "what's wrong is the baby?"

"I think so"

"Hey Dick. I need to help her take these off right now" He said pulling the handcuffs. Jay looked over at Erin and she gave him a look and that was when he knew what he was going to do. Jay shook his head but it was too late.

Erin pulled the gun out of her pants and pointed it at the men, "let him go... NOW!"

"Oooo that was a really bad idea" one of the guys laughed but that was when Jay through his arms over the guys head and held up the letter opener, "do as she says!" Jay said as he held it up to his neck.

"PUT IT DOWN!" Erin shouted again

"Ok..." the guy went to put his gun down but Erin saw as he was lifting it back up and he pointed it at her. Erin fired twice and the guy fell to the floor.

Everyone broke out into a fight and Jay stabbed the guy in the neck killing him but then two other guys came running around the corner and as they went to shoot at Erin, Antonio grabbed the gun and fired it off killing them both.

The gunfire was heard outside and the rest of the intelligence team looked at each, "suit up go go go go!" Voight said as they went towards the building.

Back in the building every let out a sigh of relief and they just looked at each other and smiled but something wasn't right. Jay looked and smiled at Erin but her smile quickly turned into a black expression and she looked down and watch as the blood soaked through her shirt.

"SHIT!" Jay ran over and caught Erin before she hit the ground and he gently laid her on the floor, "breathe Erin breathe, you're gonna be ok" He said pressing down on her stomach.

"Get these damn handcuffs off me"

"On it!" Ruzek undid his handcuffs and then he threw them to Antonio and he quickly undid his and undid Halsteads. "We need to get to med"

"It hit her in the stomach. What if it hit the baby?"

"There's a chance it didn't"

Erin was screaming in pain and Jay gently picked her up in his arms. He was trying as hard as he could to keep pressure on the wound but she was bleeding so much.

 **Jay's POV**

I didn't know what i was going to do. I ran down the stairs with Erin in my arms and I busted through the doors and that was when I got a glimpse of Voight's gun, "don't shoot, it's Jay"

"What happened?"

"She got hit in the crossfire. it hit her stomach"

"Crossfire, what?"

"I don't have time I need to get her to med"

"Yeah go go"

I quickly put Erin in the car but I picked up my phone while I was driving,

"WILL LISTEN-"

"Wait calm down, what's going on?"

"We got caught in a hostage situation at the district"

"What the hell, are you ok"

"Listen, Erin got caught in the cross fire. Will she was hit in the stomach. I'm driving to med now"

"We'll be waiting"

"Thanks"

 **Nobody's POV**

Voight entered the district and saw Antonio and Adam walking down the stairs, "You two ok?"

"Yeah we'll be ok"

As they stopped at the bottom Adam could see Kim pushing her way through everyone and when she got through she stood in front of him but it only lasted a few second until she threw her arms around him and hugged, "Oh thank god"

"I'm ok... but we need to get to me"

"I know, let's go" Voight said as the team walked towards the door.

Everyone was walking out the building when Voight grabbed Antonio's arm, "Dead?"

"All four... Erin found your gun in your office"

"How did you get all four?"

"Erin shot one, Jay stabbed on with your letter opener and I shot the other two... and I didn't check Erin was out of the way before I fired..."

"I wasn't your fault... come on you need to get your head checked out as well. I think you need stitches"

"Okay" Antonio said leaving the district and jumping in the car with everyone else

 **At Chicago Med**

Jay sped to the entrance and pulled Erin out of the passenger seat as she shouted in pain, "Jay... I..."

"Not it's ok, we're going to fix this"

The door burst open and Jay was in within seconds. He ran through the door and saw Will, "WILL!"

"Come on, put her down on here" He said pulling a bed over

"Where are you taking her?" Jay said as she was pulled away

"Straight to the OR, we need to try and get the baby out... wait here and we'll be down as soon as we have news"

Jay watched as Erin was wheeled into the elevator and he was left stood there in tears covered in Erin's blood head to toe. Jay didn't move an inch for at least ten minutes until Maggie came over, "Jay why don't you sit down"

He didn't answer but Maggie looked to her left and saw the team running through the door. Maggie walked over to them as they stopped, "How is she?" Voight asked

"She's in surgery"

"The baby?"

"They don't know"

"You need stitches Antonio" She said but Antonio looked straight over her shoulder and at Jay, "I'm good, how longs he been stood there?"

"For a while... he won't move"

"I'll go" Antonio walked over and stood in front of Jay, "Jay, it's Tony"

"Sh... she... she got shot"

"I know man but they gonna help her she's gonna be fine"

"What am I going to do... this was because of what I did. I should've never left. It was all my fault every thing thats happened"

"Jay-"

"No I should stopped them from getting to Mouse and nearly killing him, I shouldn't have wanted Erin to come to the district with me, I should have taken the gun from her. It's my fault"

"Jay there is nothing you could have done to stop all them things from happening. Come let's sit down"

"Ok, yeah" Jay turned around and sat down in the chair which was directly behind him while Antonio sat next to him, "She gonna be ok Jay"

"I know, I hope so"

Jay and everyone sat in the waiting room waiting for some news but it took hours and hours. Voight looked over at Jay who was still covered in Erin's blood and he turned to Atwater who was sat next to him, "can you go ask Maggie if Will has any spare clothes in his locker?"

"Sure thing Sarge" He said walking away.

Only minutes after Atwater left, the door in front of them opened and Will came out, "Will?"

"You alright?"

"I don't care about me, how's Erin?"

"She's stable but still critical. She's in the ICU"

"What about the baby?"

"We tried as best as we could-"

"No... Will"

"No we tried as best as we could to not deliver but we didn't have a choice"

"She's ok"

"She survived which was a miracle in its self, bullet missed her but she's three months early so she's in the NICU. We have quite a few tests to run on her but she's ok"

"Can I see Erin?"

"Yeah of course"

Jay started to walk past Will when Voight grabbed his arm, "you can't see her like that"

"Like what?" Jay looked down at his hands and clothes and realised he was covered in blood, "oh..."

"It's ok. Get cleaned up and I'll wait here for you"

"Thanks Will"


	17. Still waiting

One year later

"SHE'S STILL SICK!" Erin shouted at the doctor

"Yes Erin she is but she can go home"

"We thought it would work. We had her home before for less than a week then we had to rush her straight back."

"Yes Erin and she's on different medication and she is responding to it."

"Ok... thank you"

"No problem"

Erin sat down in the chair and looked up at Jay, "what are we gonna do?"

"Saffrons getting better Erin"

"Yeah but she should have been better weeks ago. She had a surgery and they said it would work"

"Erin she's ok. We knew there could have been complications."

Erin stood up and looked over at their daughter who was laid on the hospital bed, "she's already one and been in the hospital for most of her life, so has he by the looks of it" She looked over at George who was sat playing on the floor

"And she will make up for that as she gets older now lets get home and George isn't two for another few months, we have plenty of time Erin" Jay picked Saffron up off the bed and placed her in her carrier, "I really hope this is the last time" Erin said looking around the room.

"I know, me too" Jay said grabbing her hand as they walked out together.

Jay's POV

We was walking towards the apartment door when I noticed it was open slightly. I put my hand out in front of Erin and told her to wait, "Did you shut the door before we left this morning?"

"Yeah why?" Erin questioned looking up

"It's open now" Erin looked and quickly stepped forward knocking on the neighbours door, "Hey do you mind watching the kids for a minute?" Erin asked the neighbor

"Not at all" She said as Erin passed Saffron to her and ushered George inside, "Keep the door shut" Erin said pulling it shut.

I slowly opened the door and looked around to see mess everywhere, I walked across the floor and opened the safe where my gun was and I passed Erin hers. We walked around the apartment opening every door but the apartment was empty, "Who do you think this was?" Erin asked me

I walked back into the kitchen and placed my gun on the counter, "Top left hand cabinet is empty"

"Your Liquor?"

"Yeah but someone came to collect theirs"

"Who..."

"Mouse... he knew where I kept it most of it was his. nothing else is taken"

"I thought Mouse was gone?"

"He was... he must be back"

"Jay do you not understand that he broke into our home"

"Yes Erin I understand"

"Clearly..." She scoffed

"What do you want from me Erin?"

"He's your friend, he was clearly drunk from the way the apartment is in. what if I was home with the kids and you weren't here, he could have hurt us"

"Mouse would never hurt you"

"How do you know that Jay... what is Mouse doing again huh... Drugs, stealing and god knows what else"

"He found it hard ok, he nearly died"

"And so did you Jay but your not breaking into people houses... I'm not having it" I watched as Erin pulled out her phone, "Trudy it's Erin, I need an APB putting out for Greg Gerwitz... Yes Mouse it is... why, why because he broke into our apartment, i want him found" Erin out the phone down and I looked at her

"What the hell was that Erin?"

"He needs help, and you of all people should know that" She said walking out of the apartment.

The next day

Jay was still tiding up the apartment when Erin walked out the bedroom, "I'm sorry Jay"

"No it's ok, I gotta get to work" He said grabbing his gun and badge and kissing her on the cheek

"Be safe"

"Always am"

Erin watched as Jay left and she sat on the couch, she couldn't help but feel bad for what she said to him because she knew she had blamed him.

Jay was up working on a case when Platt walked over to him, "Are you still wanting that APB out?"

Jay looked around the room as the team looked over and he looked back at Platt, "Keep it out, we need to find him now" Platt walked back down the stairs and Voight looked over, "Something happened Halstead"

"Someone broke into our apartment last night-"

"Who?"

"Mouse, I didn't even know he was back"

"Is everyone ok?"

"Yeah we weren't in when it happened"

"He take anything?" Antonio added

"All the alcohol, he knows where I keep it"

"He off the rails again?"

"He was never on, since he left hospital he just went back to how he was before"

"Well we find him and we help him"

A few hours later Jay was writing up a report when himself and the team heard shouting from downstairs. Every grabbed their guns and ran down stairs but when Jay got out the gate he saw Mouse stumbling around shouting,

"HEY HEY MOUSE!" Jay shouted at him

Mouse looked up at Jay and pushed him up against the wall, "it's ok" Jay said looking at everyone

"What happened Mouse?"

"What happened... you went off to play happy families and forgot I even existed. Do you even remember what happened Jay, how we were tortured for Months, left for dead. Maybe we would have been better off..."

"Mouse... Mouse I didn't forget about you. I have a daughter who was been in hospital for the past year having surgery on her lungs. I remember what happened every single day Mouse, every time I close my eyes and every time I get up in the morning but I got help. I got help for my family and you are my family Mouse." Jay felt as Mouses grip loosened on his shirt and Mouse fell to his knees. Jay kneeled down next to him and looked at him, "you weren't there Jay" he cried

Jay hugged Mouse and looked at him, "I'm here now Mouse and I'm going to help, but you have to let me help you"

"I just want it all to go away"

"I know you do and we will sort that. Let's go up stairs and you can talk to me about where you've been for the past year"

Mouse stood up and walked up the stairs while Voight turned to Jay, "you ok?"

"I'm good. He needs help"

" I know. Take the rest of the day off"

"thanks. Erin was coming to the district today. Just keep her away"

"Your sure?" Voight looked at Jay confused

"I just need to sort Mouse out and I don't need her there having a go at him about the apartment"

"Okay, I will".

Jay ran up the stairs and let Mouse through the gate as he followed him up the stairs.


	18. Withdrawal

Warning: talk of suicide in this part.

Jay sat across from Mouse and watched him as he was sweating and completely out of focus, "I need some stuff man!" He said shaking

"Mouse we are going to help you through this... but no more"

"You don't understand Jay, it's been days"

"And we are getting you clean from now" Jay said hitting his hand on the table. "How do you expect me to do that...huh?"

"Well you do it Mouse or I make you do it" Jay looked at Mouse and saw he was finding this hard but he knew he could get him back to himself.

Jay and Mouse spent the next few hours talking about everything they had gone through but when Jay looked up He saw Erin walk into the bullpen, "I'll be back in a minute" Jay said as he shut the break room door.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard they found Mouse, I want to see him" Erin tried to push pass Jay but he grabbed her, "you can't"

"What do you mean I can't!"

"He doesn't need this right now."

"He broke into our house..."

"Yes he did but that's still Mouse sitting in there. I have to help him through this"

"It's not your job Jay"

"Yes it is Erin, because I went through this too. It may have not been with drugs but I still went through this and you of all people know that because I almost lost you because of it. So i am going to help him through this. I still trying to sort things out but he may need to crash at ours" Jay was too busy arguing with Erin that no one saw Mouse slip through the door.

"Over my dead body Jay, that is were our children sleep"

"Well he either stays at ours or I go with him" Jay said turning his back to Erin and walking back into the break room.

Erin knew that Jay and Mouse coming back from Afghanistan would put a strain on their relationship but she just felt like she couldn't do anything right. Erin looked over at Voight who was staring at her, "what Hank?"

"I just feel like Jay needs help"

"Well you may feel like that but he's the one who broke into our home"

"And he's struggling"

"Well tell Jay that if if he leaves the district with Mouse and he brings him to our house then I'll be taking the kids on going"

"Erin he's your husband"

"Yeah but I have which my kids to think about which I have to go pick up so I'll see you later" Erin said leaving.

Nobody's POV

I walked back into the break room and Mouse was gone, "Mouse?" I walked out into the bullpen and couldn't see him anywhere, "are you serious!"

"What's up?" Voight asked

"He's gone. I've gotta find him Sarge!"

"That's fine, Dawson go with him"

Me and Antonio left the district and started to drive around, "he couldn't have gotten far, not on foot" Antonio said

"Yeah I know what he's doing. He trying to score"

"Pretty bad huh?" He asked me

"Yeah, I'm trying to help him"

"Yeah but there only so much you can do"

"I know but if I don't try everything that I could have then have I really tried to help him"

"Halstead I know but remember he might not want any help"

We drove around for hours and there was still no sign of him but when we drove past an alley, something caught my eye, "pull over... pull over" I shouted

"Okay" Antonio pulled the car over to the side and I got out, "found him?" He asked

"Yeah" I slowly walked down the alley as Antonio walked aprons the other and that was when I saw Mouse buying some drugs, "CHICAGO PD, stay where you are!" Mouse stood still but I watched as the other guy ran and bumped straight into Dawson. I finally reached them and walked over to the guy selling, "I ever see you selling drugs again, I will personally make sure you go to prison for a very long time. Now get out of here" He quickly ran back down the alley and around to corner and as I turned around to Mouse I saw him staring the ground.

I go closer to him and tapped his chin up to look at me, "Just leave me man" he said

"Hey you may not want my help but you did this to me remember before when we came back and if you didn't do what you did then I'd probably be dead right now and I am not letting that happen to you. So what are

You gonna do?"

"I don't know Jay-"

"I'll tell you what your gonna do... you are gonna come home with me right now. The drugs and alcohol are going to stop and we are going to fight what ever is going on in that head of yours."

"It's not as easy as that Jay"

"Yes it will take time but we will get there... you're my brother Mouse and if you go down the wrong path, I'll be going with you"

"Ok" that was all he said to me.

Nobody's POV

Jay and Mouse finally pulled back up at the apartment, "what about Erin?"

"I'll deal with Erin but the first thing you are going to do is shower"

"Thanks Jay"

"Yeah well lets go in"

They walked towards the door and Jay opened the door, he could see anyone at first but then he saw Erin walk out of the bedroom with clothes in her hand. She walked over to Mouse and passed them to him, "fresh clothes, I made up the spare room and I ordered food. You look like you need a decent meal."

"Thanks Erin..."

"One condition Mouse, there will be no drugs or alcohol in my house and if I see once that you even start to be violent while my kids are here you will be out and you won't be coming back"

"I understand Erin, I'd never do anything to harm those kids"

"Well bathrooms free so you can shower"

"Thanks" Mouse walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. As Erin turned around Jay was staring at her, "you feeling ok?" He asked her

"It seems like people can say the right things to convince me to change my mind. I can't lose you again not after before I know you care for Mouse like he's your brother and I can't pull you away from that"

"Umm" Hay wrapped his arms around Erin, "and that is why I love you" he kissed her.

"Just keep an eye on him please"

"This is gonna be a hard come back for him. He's spent months on drugs and along with the PTSD, his mind is all over the place but as long as we are there for him he will be ok. Mouse never had a family until he met me and them he met you through being with me and he felt some what complete do he just needs time."

"I understand and I will be there for him too... I'm gonna check on the kids"

"I'll do it. It will be nice to say night to them" Jay said walking passed Erin.

As Mouse walked into the bathroom he locked the door behind him. He sat on the edge of the bath and turned on the shower. He left the shower to run as he opened the cabinets and started to rummage through them. As he was moving everything around and knocking stuff over he saw something out the corner of his eye. He pulled it out and read the box, "Erin Lindsey, pain killers"

He had found Erins medication from after her C-section. He lent over the sink and just stared at the box. After a while he opened the box and saw two strips of pills. He told then all out and counted the tablets till there were about forty tablets on the side, he took one and swallowed it but he couldn't stop himself anymore. He just kept taking them and taking them until they were all gone. He knew what he was doing but he just wanted it to end, the endless nightmares, the memories. He sat down on the floor leaning on the bath and he just sat and waited, waited till his pain would go away.


	19. Overdose

Erin and Jay were sat on the couch when there was a knock at the door, "it's the pizza, I'll get it" Jay said getting up

"It's about time, it's been hours. I'll check on Mouse" Erin walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door, "mouse you okay?" She didn't get an answer

"Mouse?" She knocked again. Jay put the pizza on the counter and looked over, "Erin..."

"I knocked but he's not answering. The shower it running and nothing" Jay walked over an banged hard on the door, "MOUSE... open the door Mouse."

Jay waited at least a minute but nothing happened, no noise, nothing. Jay backed up and kicked his foot into the door and it took him at least three times before the door opened. The door finally opened but the only thing Jay and Erin saw was Mouse slouched over on the floor, "Shit, call an ambulance" Jay said getting down next to Mouse, "Mouse can you hear me, Mouse" Jay said tapping his face but he wasn't getting a response.

Erin ran to the counter and grabbed her phone and dialled 911. She was putting the phone down when she heard Jay from the bathroom, "he's not breathing Erin"

She ran back to the bathroom and saw Jay giving Mouse CPR, "come on Mouse".

"I called their on their way"

Jay was still giving Mouse CPR but nothing was happening, "come on Mouse breathe" Jay cried. It took quite a few minutes until Jay noticed that Mouse was breathing again.

Shortly after, Mouse was being pulled out the ambulance and wheeled into med. Although Jay brought him back, his stomach was still full of pills and he was still unconscious. Jay jumped out of the ambulance next to Mouse and helped push him in.

"What we got?" Maggie said

"Greg gerwitz, 31 years old. Attempted suicide, cardiac arrest but was brought back but has been unconscious since then, still unresponsive." The paramedic said

"Trauma 1" Maggie said turning to Jay, "you found him"

"He's staying with us, he did it in our bathroom"

"Do you know what he took?"

"A bunch of Erin's painkillers from her c-section" Jay said but as he did April came around the corner, "HE's Crashing!"

"Okay I'll keep you posted". Maggie said running off

Jay stood in front of Trauma one and watched every single compression and every single shock but nothing was happening. The longer he waited the more worried he got but it was when he saw Maggie look up at When he walked in, "you can't stop"

"Jay it's been too long" Will said

"No, you can bring him back, he can fight this"

"Jay..."

"NO... try again!"

"It's too late Jay he's gone"

Maggie glanced over a the clock and looked back at Will, "time of death, 2110 hours"

The tears rolled down Jay's face as Will walked over and to him, "Jay I'm sor-"

"No-" Jay said pushing him away and walking out. He got outside the room and slid down the wall putting his head in his hands.

By the time Erin had started driving to the hospital, the rest of the team were already on their way. Erin ran through the doors of Med and the team followed quickly behind her but as she went through the second doors she saw Jay sat on the floor, "Jay?" She said looking up at Will as he shook his head

"No!" Erin's eyes filled up with tears

"I'm sorry Erin" Will said.

The walked up and Erin got down next to Jay and wrapped her arms around him, "I couldn't save him" he choked through his tears.

"No you did Jay, and he knew that"

"He's gone!"

"I know he is, I know" Erin said crying with him.

The rest of the team left Jay and Erin and the floor and went to the living room, "I can't believe it" Kim cried as Adam hugged her.

"He was still one of us" Atwater said

"And he will always be one of us!" Voight said, "we need to be there for Jay and Erin now, Mouse was family to them and it's going to be tough"

"What are we gonna do?" Dawson asked

"I'll arrange Mouse memorial tomorrow but for now... for now we let Jay grieve. Mouse was like a brother to Jay and he is going to blame himself, do anything he needs, let him have it"

Adam looked at Kim and grabbed her hand, "we should go, give them some space"

"Yeah okay, we'll see you guys in the morning"

"Yeah I'll come too" Atwater said as they left together.

The only two left in the waiting area room were Voight and Antonio, "he was one of the good ones, he may have made some mistakes but he never did any harm" Antonio said

"I know he was" was all Voight replied.

It was about an hour later and Jay was at in a chair next to Mouse, just staring at him, crying. Erin walked back towards the room and stood next to Will who was stood in front of the doors, "we gotta take Mouse soon Erin"

"Just give him a little longer, you know he didn't even say bye, most people when they commit suicide, they tell everyone they love them or leave a note but Mouse, he left nothing. The last thing he said to Jay was that he was going for a shower and then we found him hours later."

"I always remember when Jay and Mouse were injured the first time they went to serve. They were flown back here after months and Jay was still in a coma, Mouse was recovering slowly but Jay lost that much blood out there that we didn't think he was going to make it. We told Mouse maybe it was time to left him go but he wouldn't leave him, he sat in a chair, the same chair for months and all he would say when anyone tried to convince him was, 'he's coming back' and less than a week later Jay woke up"

"Jay's never told me that before"

"He never told anyone, I only know because I watched Mouse go through that"

"Jay's tough but he's not this tough, not after everything that has happened and I just feel like he is going to crumble at any moment" Erin said.

Will and Erin waited a little while longer when Jay walked over and slid open the doors, "I'm okay"

"Jay-" Will started to say

"I just wanna go home" he said grabbing Erin hand and walked out with her.


	20. Funeral

It had been a week since the hospital had released Mouse's body and today was his funeral. Erin finished the dishes and she walked to the bedroom and opened the door but Jay was still laid in bed, "Jay, it's almost ten".

"You go, take the kids"

"The kids aren't here, their next door. We have to go Jay say goodbye"

"Why?"

"Because you know you need to be there" Erin said walking out and shutting the door.

Jay rolled over and bed and stared at the ceiling and then he turned his head to the right and looked at the navy blue suit which was hanging up on the closet, "Why did you do it man, if only you told me how you felt" Jay said to himself.

A few minutes later, Jay got up out of bed and put on his suit. He walked out of his the bedroom and saw Erin grab her bag, "you ready?"

"...yeah" Jay hesitated

As Erin and Jay opened the doors to the church Jay saw almost everyone he knew, every from the district, some of the men they both served with and other friends.

As the funeral went on it was time for Jay to talk to everyone about Mouse, "erm..." he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, "erm, I wrote a bunch of stuff down but it's not gonna work... Mouse was... Mouse was my brother, he still is and will always be my brother. We both serve overseas and I understand what it's like out there, it was tough and we all had our demons and sadly Mouse couldn't remove his. Some may say Mouse was weak but he wasn'tbweak, he was tough and... and" Jay spluttered through his tears, "I'm, I can't Im sorry" Jay quickly walked down the isle and out of the church.

Erin sat and watched as he pushed open the doors and she got out of her seat and ran after him. As she ran outside the door, she saw him pulling the tie away from his neck and falling down on the bench outside, "Jay?" She ran over.

"I, I can-" his breathing got faster

"It's okay Jay, just breathe" she said rubbing his back.

As the rest of the team gathered outside the church doors and looked over at Jay and Erin, "what times the memorial at the district?" Antonio asked

"In about an hour" Voight replied

"You think he's going to be able to do it?"

"I'm not sure yet"

Erin was still trying to calm Jay down but he was just getting more upset, "Jay-"

"I let him down Erin"

Erin grabbed his face and made him look at him, "No Jay, you made him proud, you made me proud"

"I miss him so much" he cried as Erin pulled him into her chest, "I know, me too Jay" she said as he was calming down.

About half an hour later Jay and Erin got up off the bench and walked hand in hand to the car. On the way home Erin was driving and Jay noticed Erin missed the turn to the apartment, "where we going?" He asked

"We just to drop by somewhere first"

"The district?"

"Yeah"

Erin pulled up outside the district and they saw people gathered around the front of the building. As they walked towards the building he saw a cloth up against the memorial wall, "What are we doing?" Jay asked

"We knew we had to do this as Mouse was a part of our family" Trudy said as she pulled away the cloth to reveal the memorial for Mouse on the wall with his name, and the jobs he did at the district"

Jay stood and watched it as he wiped the tears from his face, "it's amazing thank-you" he said to everyone.

"Mouse will always have a place in our hearts and in the district" trust said.

"I know" Jay said grabbing Erin hand

"We should get back to the kids, spend some time with them" Erin said

"Yeah I know"

"We'll see you guys tomorrow" Jay said to Voight

"You coming back to work already?"

"I have to you know, move on. That's what he would have wanted"

"Okay them seven o'clock sharp"

"Thanks sarge" Jay said as himself and Erin walked away.

The next day

Jay and Erin walked into the district and saw the team were already working on a case, "what's happened?" Erin asked looking at the board.

"Two kids were found dead this morning. There's a pattern travelling all the way through Boston, New York and now Chicago" Voight said

"Shit... any leads?" Jay said

"Not yet, we've been in contact with other states looking for patterns but only these three so far..." Jay went to his desk and looked through files and as he looked up he saw a guy walking through this bullpen with a laptop in his hands, "who's this?" Erin said

"Jay we know it may be too soon but we had to bring in some to help with you know"

"It's okay, we need all the help we can get"

"okay well this is Tom"

Jay watched him as he gave team all the information he could find so far about links but as he finished he started walking the one way Jay didn't want him go, next Jay stood up and looked at him, "you can't have that desk"

Tom turned around and looked at Jay, "why, do you own it"

Jay threw the file down on the desk and raced over to him, "YOU EITHER MOVE YOUR ASS FROM THIS DESK OR I CAN MOVE IT FOR YOU!" He shouted

Erin stood next to Jay and put her hand on his chest facing him, "hey take a break ok, I'll be out in a minute" Jay angrily walked out the district as the team watched.

"Woah-" Tom said as Erin turned back around looking at him

"Listen hear punk, you've been here a few hours ok, all of us have been here for years. Now this desk belongs to Jays best friend who he served with over seas and they both sat next to each other in and out of hospitals and he died last week in front of Jay so next time you get asked to do something, you do it okay now go back downstairs, grab your stuff and get your ass out of here but I remove it for you" Erin took a deep breath.

Tom quickly grabbed his laptop and ran downstairs. "We can do any research we need ourselves" Erin said looking at Voight

"Okay then"

"Thank you. I'm gonna get Jay"

Erin walked into the break room and shut the door behind her, "Sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about"

"I should have punched his little ass out of the district"

"Hey, he's gone"

"You?" He looked shocked

"Yeah me, I can kick ass if I need too"

"I know you can"

"Now how about we got back to work and save these kids"

"Yeah" he said grabbing her hand.


	21. The ending

"I got it" Jay said jumping up out of his seat.

"What?" Voight said

"This guy, Tommy Davis was in each state at the time of the murders, the first murders CCTV footage of him in and the park. Second murders, the library and third murders he was at the soccer game they were at and was seen following then in a car behind."

"You got an address?"

"Yeah"

"Suit up, let's get this guy" Voight said as everyone ran down the stairs.

Jay kicked the door and noticed a shadow running around the corner upstairs, "upstairs!" But as they started to run upstairs he noticed someone jump from the window, "he's running" Jay ran out the front of the house and looked the guy straight in the eyes. Jay ran as fast as he could as jumped straight on top of him, "Chicago PD!" Jay said to him

Jay picked the guy up off the floor and slammed him in to the house wall, "you scared?" Jay asked him

"No"the guy scoffed

"Well you should be!" Jay said moving him to the car.

"He didn't get far then?" Dawson said

"Not a chance" Jay said slamming the car door.

"Good job over these past few days guys. Let's got back, finish paperwork and then let's get home and get some sleep" Voight said.

"I could say yes to that" Erin said.

A few hours later, Erin and Jay finally walked into the apartment and collapsed on the couch, "that was hard" Jay said

"Yeah I hate it when it's the kids"

"Speaking is kids, let's go see ours" Jay said grabbing Erin's hand and walking to the kids bedroom.

Jay opened the door and they stood over their baby girl who was sleeping in her crib, "you know I never realise how gorgeous she actually is until days like we just had"

"I know, she's definitely something special" Jay and Erin were stood looking over her when they heard George behind them. Jay turned around and picked George up off of his bed, "hey buddy" Jay said holding on to George and wrapping his arm around Erin.

"This is what I needed, my family is something i never want to lose. I love you" he kissed Erin.

"I love you too" Erin said hugging him.

 **So I'm ending it here as I want to start another one soon. I hope you enjoyed and thank you for all the love and if you have any ideas of what you would like me to write please feel free to review or PM me.**


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